I want to write you again. This time, not in covers of what ifs and regrets but between the twelve months of a year. In the 365 pages of the book 2018 where you once been part of.
It was a fresh start of good chilly mornings that greeted our puffy eyes with warmth smiles as rays of light welcomed us. Perfect it was only if you were lying on the same bed.
Consistency cuffed our hands as we've traveled through the first 90 leaves of this forest-like story—or so I thought.
When April came, you brought me to ocean of confusion. A vacation lasted 'til May. At night, we walked by the seashore and have let the breeze kiss silence filling the atmosphere we breathe. Sighs of questions freed itself to the waves back to the vastness of fear beneath its seafloor.
Slow on our tracks, trembling legs and side glances, we continued reaching June station. School has begun and so were the excuses humped in our way. Gaps of minutes between replies grew into days without a word. We tried to crawl this burden past July and August.
Rain made these clothes of promises heavier, and visions of future blurred by thick self-doubts to the point of getting stucked in September. Arms wrapped around our body, enduring the freezing cold feelings bursting within, that we've shared before felt soothing in heat weather.
We stayed still, bought candles I wished we used to melt the answers what and why. But on the same place we stopped by, we lighted the candle and for the first time, prayed for what we had.
Even before we hear tansans clanging, recycled milk cans to a drum tapping by these children's hands, and carols in loud speakers; while houses and families around us were readying for His day, we prepared ourselves leaving everything behind.
Last 31 days, I wrote and reflected the things that happened between the pages that we were supposed to finish together. Filled it with ink of painful joy still questioning myself, what happened to us.
I have written about you with what I can remember was the happiest moments you carved in me. Those were the days we have shared and I must apologize if this ended real.
xiii. write about you
