Under the same universe

E: M R P

I thought he was asleep. His face is hidden in darkness, I can only make the outline of his head.

"Hey, I need you" he says.
He swiftly crushes me under his weight. Its no use anyway, I close my eyes and try to just feel. Maybe I can ignore everything and get some pleasure out of it since as soon as he is done he will ignore me. My mine is blank and I feel his needy hands roughly squeeze me. My eyes prick with tears even though I had steeled myself against all of it. The last time i had fought him, he just held my neck with a smirk on his face, " you will do as I say. I am the man not you" he said quietly.

He and his part are soon done. He rolls over and scoots to the other side of the bed. My innards feel jumbled around and it hurts. I just turn with my back to the wall and try to not touch or disturb him. He gets annoyed if i try to much to hug or cling to him, he says it makes him too hot. Pfft, whatever. it use to hurt so much emotionally but I have resigned myself to this emotionless void in our marriage.

We were happy as a young couple in our teens, but I feel our paths have diverged. We grew differently from each other, needing different things . But I digress, I am so tired.  I go back and forth with my reasoning. I need sleep, not me philosophizing my situation.
The darkness at the edge of my mind slowly spreads, a welcome relief to this reality.

The darkness has one tiny bright star. I turn to the light and walk toward it. It slowly dims as I try to get to the quickly fading star.  It suddenly turns to a dark cream color as I reach the star. I feel a cold knob under my fingers. My heart gallops in my chest, my ears pick up a static muffled voice. My fingers turn into unresponsive heavy appendages as I try to turn the knob. I can feel something behind me trying to shove me with force into the door. Nooo!!! I will not be manhandled. Rage fills my blood, I open the door. I bolted from the open door way, a voice spoke
" LEAVE!!! OUT!!"

The dark street and bright lamps greet me as my legs pump underneath me.  The nicely manicured lawns and immaculate townhouses with their dark eyes seem to mock me as i breeze past. Whhyyy?!
Ohhh whhyy?? I cry.

At the very edge of the suburbs where the street ends. I start to walk into the open expanse of desert. Nothing but tiny bushes and an occasional gnarly tree could be seen for miles. The moon slowly ascends the sky. It must be midnight, I muse. I keep walking for what seems like miles, every thing looks the same. 

I come across  train tracks.  I lazily looked from left to right, I choose right, ehh I'm right handed so it should be alright. I follow the tracks, kicking the odd stone now and then.  I spot a particular stone odd among all the jagged stones. It was smooth, i think maybe it was jumbled into the pile at the stone quarry place that wholesales different rocks. I kick the stone gently.

Concentrating on the clicking noise it makes as it clashes with other stones.As it settles among its sharp brethren, the hair on the back of my neck stands on end, and i hear a very faint snnn of fur gently touching each other. I stiffly and slowly turn my neck, looking behind me.

My eyes use the moonlight to focus on an impossibly large dog.  I cease to think, base instincts take over as my body is frozen in place. I quickly assess the animal. Its definitely not a dog... The snout is too long. It is larger in size than most dogs i have ever seen, I can only estimate that it is at least to my rib cage from this distance. I look at him, he looks at me and we both stare at each other for what seems like an eternity. I take one final look at him, his long shaggy black fur, his large size, his yellow eyes, perked up ears and mid open mouth.

I lower my head and eyes toward the floor. Slowly I turn my back to this dangerous predator and decide to slowly walk away from him. If I die tonight then I die, there is no one around. I can't outrun it, I can't scream for help, and I can't call anyone I have no phone. I am utterly alone.

I realize that I recognize this dream, its a memory. A distant past were I 'm lucky to have even gotten this far. Anyways I had slept with my clothes, jacket and shoes on just in case i thought to myself remembering this part of my sordid past.

I turned my whole body slowly since no attack seem to be coming.

No wolf, just the moonlit railroad track. I feel my shoulder sag in slight disappointment. I turn right back around and keep walking. Soon the darkness creeped up and over, pulling me down into nothingness.

                                     (Minipurse)