The Insane Boy

Chapter 17 - More Than Human

Everything hits me in that moment. Every sick action I have taken and the pain I have revealed in swarms up inside of me. I lean over the sink as the contents of my stomach scrapes up my throat, burning. I had lost my humanity, every last shred of it.

I didn't know that human pain could ever taste so sweet, then so bitter.

I collapse onto the floor, staring up at the ceiling. It's like my entire brain has been meticulously scrubbed and polished, and I can finally see reality.

It is not beautiful.

Everything I didn't see before, I can see now. It is slamming into me with brutal force, chipping off pieces of my soul with every strike. All the emotion I had kept inside before is leaking out too, and I cannot stop these tears.

I want to lie here forever. I don't want to move. The ground is cool against my back, goose bumps spreading across my skin. But even now, I am scared that if I move, I will lose it. This is raw pain, but it is good pain. The type that soothes an aching mind and Ts that things will get better.

I pull myself up and gather the empty vials. I throw them into the cistern, flushing them down.

I look over to the last 8 and the single syringe.

I know now. I know exactly who there for.

I gather them up and walk over to his bed. I pause for only a moment before I wake him, dragging him in his groggy state into a sitting position.

"Please, Vito. Trust me." I whisper.

With steady fingers, I fill the syringe, time after time, letting the antiserums trickle into his bloodstream.

When I am done, he just stares at me. Stares at me like he is seeing me for the first time. There are tears traced down his cheeks, but he is silent. He just lets the tears run, staring at me as I curl up into my bed.

He is the reason I am in this Compound, the reason I am playing these mind games. I should hate him with every ounce of my being. But I don't.

There is something tying me to him. Not like a lost memory, but like an instinct. He is a buoy and I am lost in the ocean. I need him.

I realise, just before sleep drags me under, that the two people I trust most in this place is a boy who took my freedom and a boy who lost his mind.

I fall asleep to that thought.

When I wake up to the siren, Vito is still staring at me. He keeps shooting glances at me that I only just catch in the corner of my eye. He looks like he is seeing me for the first time.

I walk away, into the bathroom, and stare at myself in the mirror. There is still a thin crack through it where my fist pounded into it, but this time I am ready.

Or I thought I was.

I have to blink several times, because I don't remember changing this much. I am thinner, yet the muscles in my arms are more defined. My skin is paler, much paler, and blossoming with new bruises over old. It's the look in my eyes though, that hurts me the most. They still look empty, and my face is free of all the emotions that storm up within me.

Like a guard.

I hear the door grind open and I tear myself away from my reflection. Quickly, I pull on a shirt and grab my jumper before running back into the main room.

The guard stares at me when I appear, and for a moment I think he can see that I am different. I mould my face into an expressionless mask, sneaking glimpses of Jae's face and mimicking it. But it hurts too look into this man's eyes, eyes that only now can I see are emotionless voids sparked with senseless anger.