𝐷𝐴𝑅𝐾 𝐻𝐸𝐴𝑅𝑇𝑆

Vii

             chapter .7 | it's more than me|

       "Sometimes you have to be selfish
to be selfless"

As I Lay next to Daminion I know why he did what he did. It was a silent prayer to not go by myself, to not go at all. I love and respect his opinions but I also have to respect what is right. I didn't even get to explain my plan to him before he ravished me. He knew that would throw me off, as much as my brain doesn't appreciate it. I know something else does. I just wish he would let me get my thoughts out but I'll have to save it for another day. Daminion started to move around facing me, his arm wrapping around my middle, pulling me close. Every time he does this my heart melts. He has such a hard exterior, people only see him as the captain but I see him as both captain and a compassionate lover. Thinking about the love we made, I blushed a little. My mind started to wander into the dangerous territory of my dirty mind. Shaking my head I got out of bed, I need a cold shower.

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Daminion kissed goodbye by the time I got out of the shower having to leave to train the new warriors. I could have gone but I had plans for myself.

I decided on wearing a lounging gown that was a velvet black with matching slippers. It's nice to be able to move around in a tunic and leather pants to fight but I also miss the feeling of lushes fabrics. I miss the feeling of looking like a queen, who has a deadly secret. After braiding curly hair down the middle I took a second to admire the way the dark fabric looked against my honey skin tone. I haven't dressed up in weeks due to preparing for the red war but it was worth the wait.

I started to make my journey towards the kitchen, it's a bit of a walk but it's nice because of how the hallways are decorated. My mother and father came together through art. There are pictures of sunsets with black trees in the background, moonlight shining on a deer, bare willow trees in the winter and so many more. It was their own personal Galla and just looking at every painting makes me feel as though I'm keeping their memories alive and that's all that matters to me.

By the time I reached the kitchen, I saw one of the ladies in there asking if she could make my herbal tea. She happily obliged. The herbal tea is made with nightshade which is lethal to a baby. It stays in a woman's system for at least one week and a half. Most women drink this to prevent unwanted pregnancies and I am definitely striving to do that at this point in my life. A lot of women how are my age having many babies by now but I'm not interested right not. My focus is on other priorities at the moment. Once it was ready I gulped it down because it tastes very unpleasant if you drink it slowly. After a few seconds, I could already feel it in effect, the side effects a bit unpleasant as well, but it's worth it. Saying thank you to the girl, I took my leave back down to the hall, taking a different turn down another corridor exploring the black, white, and silver walkways. One of the older servants, Anya told me the story behind the colours of the castle hallways. Each one tells its own story.

You're mother, Adnia Orkan princess of Ordainia, she wanted these colours because it was her families. Each colour paid a tribute representing love, honor, and loyalty, something that was near and dear to her heart. Each story told a story, black. It represented the colour of love that resembled her skin, a beautiful shade of night that most people in Ordsinis shared. black to them was to love others you have to accept yourself with every flaw and imperfection. White is the colour of loyalty. It's supposed to shine as bright as the light that is as bright as the sun and moon and finally sliver, it represents honor which is the most important. They would die for each other, their country. something that I definitely inherited.

She told me I look just like her but my father burned every painting of her when I was four because he was so heart stricken when she passed away. I don't remember her face all too well but I remember the lullaby she sang to me every night,