Love, Chef. - A Chen Qing Ling/Modaozushi Fanfic

Chapter 7

Jiang Cheng:

I stood at the balcony of the living room when I heard a voice.

"It's late a-cheng." A-jie said.

"A-jie, I didn't know you were awake."

"I was instructing everyone for tomorrow's lunch. A-ling and Zixuan need some father-son time."

"I still cannot believe you married that Peacock."

"Well, we are only married by documents. I still didn't have a wedding."

"What?! That guy, despite being rich, didn't let you have a wedding?!" I said, furious!

"Calm down. I suggested that."

"Huh? Why?"

"I didn't want to have a wedding without my little brothers. We waited for A-ling to turn five so we could have gone to Paris for the wedding where it would have been easier for you two."

"A-jie-"

"Shhhhh. Don't say anything." She said and with a finger on my lips, shut me up.

"A-cheng, you and A-xian gave up everything in order to save us from a massacre. I could not do it even if I wanted to."

"But-" she cut me, again.

"No. It's not my guilty conscious, all our lives, ever since you were born I have had you by my side and then A-xian came along when father adopted him too. You two are way too important to me, I cannot do this without you two."

I could not say anything, I knew she wouldn't listen.

"Take rest, A-cheng. We have a long day tomorrow as well and after that, we have to work for your succession as well. I am sorry to impose all this on you but you're the only one who can do it." A-jie said and walked away.

I stood there for a good minute and then decided to go back to my room. I walked down the corridors and saw Lan Wangji carrying Wei Wuxian in his arms, he looked cosy as if his burden was lifted off of his chest. My chest felt tight, I needed a smoke. I waited for the love birds to pass along before I walked down the corridor and went back to my room. I run the hot water in the tub and took a quick shower before going down for dip, as I sat there in the hot water, I felt all the knots in my shoulders and joints coming undone but my peace was not long lasting.

As soon as I closed my eyes, the events of this afternoon flashed in front of my eyes.

"I thought you stopped smoking, young master Jiang." I heard the voice and slowly turned around.

"Xichen"

That's all I could say, that too on my fifth try. His face looked horrible, shadows of past and the tiring present. He has always been hardworking but it looked like, now, he was just forcing himself. To survive another day. The once bright and handsome face was covered with the shadows.

"It's been a while, A-cheng."

I winced at how he said my name, almost as if it wounded me. Because it did. He was taunting me, sarcastic about it.

"Yes. It's been a while, Xichen."

I couldn't do the same, my voice almost broke saying his name. We stood there quietly, I couldn't look him in the eye. He kept his eyes at me, his gaze almost intense and excruciating. I knew if I looked at him he will know almost immediately what I have been trying to hide for all these years, especially when the person behind it all was the one Xichen was in a relationship with now.

He let our a sigh and I saw him wanting to say something but then we were interrupted. 

"Master Jiang, lady Jiang is calling you." The guy said.

"Alright, I will be there."

I turned around to see that Xichen was walking away and I never got to know what he wanted to say. Again.

I stepped out of the bath and went fwump on the bed, my body was in knots, it hurt everywhere but especially my face. My cheeks hurt the most with all the smiling today, I have never fake smiled so much in my entire life, not even when the customers in all the restaurants I worked when they called for chef.

"Aghhhhhhhh. My back hurts, I am getting old." I said with my face still buried in the pillow.

My mind went back to Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian, they seemed cosy and they both looked like they were finally unburdened in each other's presence. Back then, when we left, he said something so horrible to to Lan Wangji that I thought he would just move on from Wei Wuxian but seems like that wasn't the case. I saw my once bright brother, who always had a smile on his face turn into a gloomy and serious person. I know he hid his emotions behind the smiles that he showed but now he refused to smile without a reason, in the past ten years I saw Wei Wuxian getting lost into the mundane.

It was sad, he was suffering but that wasn't the reason why I used to lash out on him. I was angry because he wouldn't let me in, he wouldn't let me help him, he wouldn't tell me that he was suffering. He helped me, on the days I refused to wake up, on the days I refused to eat and on the days I just wanted it all to end but I couldn't do the same for him. He would smile at me, tell me all about his day, all about the fun he had but he would never tell me how he felt when he was breaking, shattering and most importantly suffering and I hated him for that. It felt like, I wasn't good enough for him to indulge in.

I was irritated so I opened the window and lit up a cigarette, after going through one while cigarette and the cool air hitting my face I was finally able to calm down. My hair was finally dry enough for me to sleep in, it was about damn time. I was too tired to stay awake any longer and I had to deal with a lot of people and take care of everything tomorrow.

I went back to bed and put the soft comforter over me, it felt so good that it was hard for me to keep my eyes open for any longer.

As I closed my eyes, my mind kept on repeating a name.

Xichen.

The name came out in a whisper, almost as if I was praying for something to happen and then I succumbed to sleep, as the old and nostalgic dreams haunted me. Again.