Golden

6 - A Wave and Its Ripples

"The day I met her, I was like, 'hey, I'll marry you tomorrow.' I sent her a picture [of engagement rings], I was like, 'do you like any of these?' She was like, 'those are my favorite ones,' and I was like, 'sick.'" - Pete Davidson about his relationship with Ariana Grande. 

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It feels like Perrie's life has a purpose again. For so long, she has lived only for her music. She put her everything into her career, and it payed off. There are still things she would change if she could, but more than anything, she's grateful to have such a huge platform to share her art. Music has invaded every part of her life, and she can't ignore any song idea that pops into her head, or any melody she made up in her mind for no reason. She is used to staying up until the early hours of the morning to sing whatever's on her mind, and write another draft which might never see the light of day. 

Now, Perrie has been more inspired than ever. Jade has brought something new to her life, something she never knew she had missed. Perrie spent the last few years in fake relationships with people she couldn't even pretend to like, and in some place in her, accepted that this is going to be her life. These relationships were all set up by her public relations team, and they never lasted long, because Perrie couldn't handle being in them. Everyone around her, including the PR team, is working for her, not the other way around, so when she's had enough, she would cut it off in a blink of an eye. Her team is always mad at her, and since it's for a different reason every time, she doesn't even bother keeping up by now. Although she was told off about a million times at this point in her career, she knows she won't be making any change in her behavior. In the position she is in now, where she ticked off all of her big goals, the only thing that matters to her is music. Well now, there's Jade, too. And this is the first time in years Perrie has felt this alive. 

There's no proper way to describe the way Perrie feels about Jade. There is so much that goes into it, more than she realizes herself. With Jade, Perrie can be her true, limitless self. She can call her up whenever she's feeling like it, no matter what time it is, just to hear her voice. She doesn't have to hide her mental health struggles, and will make sure every single person on this earth knows that Jade is hers. She's proud to be with Jade, and for once, her team agrees with her that it's a good idea. The mystery around Jade, whom no one really knew before she was seen holding Perrie's hand, has been gaining a huge amount of attention from the media; which translates to money on Perrie and her team's behalf. It's one of those rare situations where everyone wins. Perrie has also been slightly jealous of Jade in a way. She sees how the world opens up to her, the opportunities she's been receiving, the way her dreams are coming true overnight. She misses the beginning, when you're so blinded by all the lights that you can't see the shadows behind them. 

"Perrie?" Her mother calls in an annoyed tone, possibly for the third or the fourth time. Perrie was, like always nowadays, thinking about Jade, and didn't mind her family members who are sitting at the table with her. "Could you pass me the salad please?" Perrie stays silent as she does as she's told, and Alexander goes on and on about how proud he is of Caitlin and everything she's achieved. He says that tonight, this dinner is a celebration of her success. These are the things that he used to say to Perrie when she was just starting out, and that hurts. 

"And we can't forget Perrie's upcoming performance at the Oscars," Jonnie reminds everyone and they all smile at Perrie. He's always been like that, trying to make her feel better, after seeing everything she's been through without anyone really noticing. The conversation turns back to Caitlin, and how incredible and smart she is for finally getting accepted to med school, and Perrie does nothing but smile politely. She doesn't really get why this is such a big deal, especially since she offered Caitlin years ago the opportunity to be accepted to one of the best schools in the country without putting much work into it; she knows so many people with great power who won't mind doing a favor or two for something in return. Instead of accepting Perrie's help, Caitlin spent years studying and preparing for exams, and although she made it, the shortcut would have been a much better choice in Perrie's eyes.