Golden

9 - "I'm Fine"

"He had to make a decision. Was it the drugs and the vampires [="people that are sort of psychopaths"] or me? And he pushed me away." Lisa Marie Presley about her relationship with Michael Jackson.

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No one really knows what's going on between Perrie and Jade, not even Perrie and Jade themselves. They haven't talked to each other for a week now, ever since coming back from their trip to New York. There's nothing Perrie wants more than to hear how Jade's doing, and it's so easy with Jade's number is in her contacts. However, the same issue Perrie has struggled with for a long time now arises. She is Perrie Edwards, and she won't be the first one to break the silence between them. She has always known it's wrong, especially when it comes to Jade whom she truly loves, yet that's how things are. After so many years of being praised endlessly, her ego had to absorb some of the compliments.

The thing is, though, this is an example of what Jade talked about that night in New York. The way Jade sees it, Perrie doesn't want to listen to anything she has to say; if she did, she would have called. Looking back at that night, Perrie can't quite figure out what happened there. Considering how long they've been apart after it, she would assume that this was a break up. But were they ever even together to begin with?

Whenever Perrie needs a break from her private life, when events like this occur, she turns to the public. She has spent a significant amount of time out of the house these past few days, meeting up with other celebrities her management has been trying to push into her business circle for years, going to visit her family, and making sure the whole process is documented either by her on her Instagram, or by hired photographers.

Today has been rough. Perrie has been surrounded by so many people these past few days, but it wasn't enough. She misses Jade so much it hurts. So in order to put her mind at ease, she turned to drinking, which is not something she does often. Usually, she has a glass or two of wine, which isn't harmful, and in the past, was enough to make her feel better. However, after this became a habit, her body started becoming resistant to the alcohol, and one glass just doesn't have any effect on her anymore. Today, she wanted to feel lightheaded again, and had more than she should've. It was only after she had more than enough when her assistant called in order to remind her she has three interviews planned for today, Breakup Song promotion. She goes to the kitchen and drinks as much water as her body can take in, but it's not a magic solution and she's still drunk. So she does the best she can think of, and brushes her teeth, then drinks a cup of coffee to get rid of the smell. With the cup in her hand, she opens the front door to her house and lets her makeup artist, hair stylist and publicist in.

Everyone is aware of Perrie's current state, she can see it in their eyes, but no one dares to say a word about it. Perrie's hair and makeup are taken care of while Simon Jones, her publicist, explains to her what's her schedule for today in more detail. He tells her that her first interview is for a live morning show, reads the questions she will be asked and proposes answers for the harder ones. There aren't any about Jade, because her team has banned those. Perrie isn't really listening, though, because she is busy trying to remember when was the last time she did a live interview like the one she has today. The conclusion is that it had been too long for her to remember, and that is enough to make her feel worse than she already did. Her team has only started to regain trust in her since Jade came along, and now, there's no chance it's going to last.

As soon as Perrie is ready, she is taken to the car, where she can feel Simon's gaze on her throughout the whole ride. He clearly knows she has been drinking, and probably hasn't made a decision yet about what he should do with this information. Perrie appreciates how he is always patient with her, even though she can certainly be demanding at times, and how he is one of the nicer people she works with.