Nightmare

Two

Jamie had already learnt one thing in half a month- when everything falls, it's the things that mattered the least become that which you want the most.

The sad truth was that he missed it. He missed it all- his room, the dank carpets of the unused dining room in the back. the sound of his father's voice through crackling mobile and most of all, her.

Caitlin. The person who had been with him since birth. She was someone who he had spent most of his life with, his happinesses, his fears.....

As he lay away in bed, his eyes flinching from the occasional sheen of the torch that came in from the half-open doorway- someone was on suicide watch- he often wondered where she was. It was common knowledge that good people went to Heaven- Caitlin was the kind of person who could give you the best birthday ever- even though it was hers.

His clammy head burrowed further into the soft linen sheets. But what if she was in the Outback with Stephen? Stuck in that hellish deserted void for all eternity. This had become the kind of thing that had cost Jamie more than a few sleepless nights.

The thought of it was something he wouldn't wish on his worst enemy.

He was thankful that it wasn't a dorm, that he had the privacy of a 'cubicle'- as most of the other inmates here had so sardonically christened them. The crushing air from the tiny window on the left wall felt that there was barely enough room to move a leg, nevermind hoard whatever belongings from the outside world that you had there.

But at least Jamie had got the private room. The last thing he needed was someone to be watching him lie in his bed wide awake- or worse, be a junkie who screamed and babbled, slamming their skulls against the walls like he had heard in the other rooms.

Maya knew what he was going through. She'd solemnly confided in him over the next group therapy how her own sister had decided to take a razor blade to her wrists in the bathroom one morning and how her resulting nervous breakdown left her barricading herself in an English classroom. She sounded so embarrassed and regretful of her actions, the others half-bored, half sympathetic- the general attitude of the denziens here.

Miriam had been there too- clearly anxious having been separated from her sister- had started off her progress report reluctantly, but recognising a calming presence of the others that made up the room had gone on.

It was clear that she'd been there longer than him- she'd forced on a smile, pretending that she was making the mildest of her progress- leaving America to come here had been hard and that she was worried about her sister- it still showed an element of truth.

But within her nonchalance, there was still the same fear and confusion that seemed to be rife with everyone in this place.

Jamie had never actually expected her to stop him once they'd dispersed for recreational time.

"Thanks," she'd murmured in a tired, yet appreciative voice with the same tremble she'd tried to supress in her progress reports wavering in, "for listening."

Jamie wore a sympathetic smile.

For a moment, he almost placed an arm on her shoulder, but his own standards had prevented him. He's learn to tread slightly on the ground around people here- you never knew which landmine was about to go off.

"Oh, it's....fine. You know....." he fumbled.

He couldn't help but smile in her presence- in the presence of that of a real, live, flesh and blood girl, though inwardly chastising himself for knowingly being such an idiot.

She smiled in a stretched way- it looked the first genuine piece of emotion she'd had in a long time.

She cleared her throat. "Sorry. My name is Miriam, that is if you don't know-"