The Bad Boys' Club (BxB)

In which I arrive to River High (2)

*Unedited*

I couldn't fall asleep that night. I kept hearing my mom saying, "It's an all-boys school."

Maybe if I told mom that I was being bullied at my old school, she could homeschool me or something.

Considering how much she wanted me to socialize, that probably won't happen. Also, I really can't imagine what it would be like telling her that.

Because even though she knew I was attracted to boys, I couldn't tell her how it was one of the main reasons I was being bullied.

I couldn't tell her the things they would say to me, and how much it hurt.

I knew since I was fourteen that I liked boys. I thought maybe I just didn't find a girl I like, but I wasn't very interested in them like the typical teenage boy.

The problem was I could barely talk to guys.

Even if we put me being bullied aside, I always had harder time talking to them. Maybe it's because I didn't really have a male figure at home, since it was just me, my mother and sister.

When Haley brought her friends over, I was fine with that, and sometimes I would hang out with them. Well, only if it was inside the house.

And now mom was sending me to an all-boys boarding school. Meaning, I was going to spend most of my time there and only come back home once a month.

It was around two hours drive, so even once a month was a little too much time on the road for me.

To add to my list of problems, I had motion sickness.

It wasn't too bad if I slept through drives or made sure not to read.

I wanted to go down right now, even though it was late, and mom was sleeping- just to tell mom that I didn't want to go.

However, I knew that even if it was the afternoon, I still wouldn't be able to tell her that. If Haley were here, she would probably say I needed to start standing up for myself.

She would tell that to me a lot because she knew about the bullying. Haley never told mom about it, even though she wanted to so many times, but I always begged her not to say anything.

It was a good thing she wasn't home, because if she had seen my arm, she wouldn't have thought twice before revealing everything to mom.  

I wonder what she'll think once she heard her shy baby brother was going to a boarding school.

*

I was packed and ready on Sunday morning, dreading what's to come. I packed my art supplies because I knew I'll need something to do. Mom thought being in boarding school will force me to socialize, but I could just stay in my room like always.

Luckily, I had a dorm to myself. Mom said she didn't want to push me too hard.

"You have everything, right?" Mom asked as we sat down to eat breakfast.

I couldn't eat much, both because of the nerves and because of the drive ahead.

I nodded to answer her, even though she asked me the same questions about five times. But that's how she was, always wants to make sure nothing will go wrong.

After mom finished eating, she looked at my plate once before taking it with her plate, not commenting about the lack of appetite. She probably knew the reason for that.

I exited the house after her and I make sure to do it as slowly as I could. I wanted to delay this as much as I can, and a small part of me hoped mom would suddenly regret her decision to send me to a boarding school.

But alas, mom didn't regret anything and eventually got to her red car.

This was going to be a drive from hell.

*

Two hours later, I was shaking as the car stopped in the school's big parking lot. I could already tell the school was huge, and it made me wonder how mom was paying for me to go here.

We weren't poor, but it wasn't like we were very well off. I couldn't work because... Well, I was me, so to get money I did some chores at the house and sometimes for the neighbors as well.

I had to somehow pay for my art supplies that was not cheap. A bit came from birthday presents.

"Well, this is it." Mom said, shaking me from thoughts.

The words 'River High Boarding School For Boys' were written on a big sign at the gates, and there were a few students that like me were dropped off.

Unlike me, they started junior year at the beginning of the year, and not on January.

I looked at the students and tried to pick up from their looks how everyone else would look like. They weren't dressed like brats or gangsters, but they weren't dressed in expensive clothes. It made me wonder if most students were from the middle working class like I was, and it did make me feel calmer and less out of place.

I heard the car's door closing, and when I glanced towards the driver's seat, I saw mom already got out of the car. I quickly opened the door and exited myself, stumbling a bit. It was a long drive, but I managed to go through it without puking.

Mom took out my suitcase from the back seat and looked at me. It had enough clothes to last me for a while, and there were washing machines. There was also a mall not far from here and mom gave me money if I needed more clothes.

I wasn't going to tell her I'll probably won't be leaving my dorm room any time soon other than going to classes.

Mom gave me a soft smile and hugged me, and I could tell from her sniffling she was having a hard time letting me go.

It was perhaps just as hard for her as it was for.

"Be good, okay? And have fun, make some friends." I nodded once she pulled away. She looked me over for a few more minutes: From my messy, curly blond hair and dark brown eyes, my pale skin and soft looking face, to my black sweatshirt, blue jeans, and the dirty grey sneakers.

"Okay, you should go now. Try to call me every day, yeah?" I nodded again, not able to speak because of how nervous I was.

Mom dropped her hands from my arms, and I knew this was my sign to go. I willed my feet to move, walking towards the gates with a bag on my shoulder and my suitcase rolling on the ground.

More than anything, I wanted for a big hole to swallow me right now. Of course, it didn't happen.

And I didn't know it back then, but one day I will be happy that it didn't happen.