Rehearsal

Part XI

A few weeks later...

Eddy looked into the eyes of the conductor. His face was all over with blood. It dripped down his chin. Eddy could hear his voice inside his head. "Why, Eddy?" The conductor pointed his finger towards him. "Why am I dead and not you?" Then he heard a gunshot and the conductor fell to the floor. His whole body drained in blood now. Eddy began to run, but everything was black next to him and his legs felt numb and heavy. An echo ran through his mind. "Eddy!" It was Brett. "Eddy, help me!" Eddy tried to scream but no sound was coming out of his mouth. "Eddy, where are you? I need you!" He looked around but couldn't see a thing. Everything was just pitch black.
"Eddy" This time the echo came from behind him and as he turned around Eddy saw a coffin. He came slowly closer and saw Brett lying in there. Eddy felt a sharp pain in his heart. He tried to reach his friend. He wanted to grab and shake him to wake him up, but he just noticed being handcuffed behind his back, unable to come any closer.  "Eddy, I am scared." He tried to scream again, but there was just silence. "Eddy, please say something." Tears fell down Eddy's chin. He desperately fought against the handcuffs. The coffin closed. "Eddy, I am dying! Help me!" It got lowered into nothingness. "Eddy..." Brett's voice faded away until it was completely silent again.
Eddys heart got filled up with sorrow and grief as he watched his friend disappear and everything went dark again. All that was left was Eddy. Alone with his pain.
Please let it be over, Eddy begged. He felt his airways tighten up. I can't do this anymore! Something dragged him down, also into the nothingness. Slowly and painfully. It really felt like dying to Eddy. And that was all he wanted at this moment.

"Eddy" This time Brett's voice was softer. "It's gonna be okay!"

Then  Eddy finally could scream.

Eddy woke up on his couch with a loud scream. First, he didn't know where he was and while trying to stand up he stumbled and fell to the floor. He breathed heavily as he came to his senses. His body was covered in sweat and his arms were shaking. It was just a dream. Eddy whispered to himself. It is going to be okay. He started to move back and forth like a child, as his tears began to fall. It is going to be okay.

After a while, Eddy managed to get up, take a shower, and put some clean clothes on. He took a look into his refrigerator but closed it again without taking anything out. He was not in the mood for breakfast. Not even coffee. He forced himself to drink a glass of water and then made his way out of his flat. He got into his car. Now came the worst part of his day.

He had made a deal with himself. He could drown in depression all he wanted at home, but he would be strong outside. So as the started the engine he forced himself to smile. He rose the volume of the radio which played one of the stupid pop songs. He could not bear to listen to classical music anymore. It just made him cry.

On his way, he stopped by at a bubble tea store. The owner grinned as he saw Eddy. "The usual?" he asked. Eddy laughed a little. "Of course, Jack," he said in the happiest voice possible. "Eddy, I have to ask you again. When will you stop by with your violin? We miss hearing you play. Maria is asking about you all the time." Eddy's stomach tightened. Before that day he had visit Jack and his family every now and then. His daughter Maria was his biggest fan as she always pointed out. But Eddy hadn't touched his violin for a while now and he didn't want to explain why.

"Well, you know. I don't have much time nowadays." Eddy could tell that Jack spotted his lie but he didn't care. He paid and returned to his car with two cups of bubble tea in his hands.

Every time Eddy entered Brett's hospital room there was a moment of hope. It was the second between grabbing the doorhandle and his first sight at Brett. The hope that Brett's eyes were open and looking at him, but he got disappointed.
"Hey Brett," Eddy said. "Sleeping in today?" He put one of the cups onto a table next to Brett's bed. "It's okay. I didn't get much sleep either last night." Eddy sat into a chair next to it. "You know because I practiced the whole night. Meaning, when you wake up, I will be a lot better than you. A lot to catch up before I let you play first violin again." Eddy laughed until silence filled the room up again. "No. Just kidding." Eddy took a sip of the second cup. It didn't taste good. It never did since that day.

"I had a phone call from Hillary yesterday. She asked how you were doing." He waited a couple of seconds. "I wish I could tell her that you woke up." Tears filled up his eyes. "We miss you." There was no response. "Sometimes I feel like giving up, you know." Another moment passed without a reaction. "Now would be a really good time to wake up, Brett." His tears were streaming down his face now. So much about "being strong".

It's gonna be okay.

"Okay. Okay. I got it." Eddy took a few deep breaths and swiped away his tears. He had to switch topics. "You can't imagine how much fan post we got in the last weeks. I opened a few. Our community is just the best. They all hope that you will get better soon. But of course, I left you a lot of letters to open, too. We have a lot to do when you get better, you know. I have a list of all the videos we still wanted to make and don't forget our world tour!" Eddy smiled. "It will be great. You just have to wake up."