Rehearsal

Part XII

--------- trigger warning: self-harm -------------------------

As every day in the last weeks, Eddy stayed a few hours beside Brett's bed. In the late afternoon, he got up and made his way back home, leaving a cup of bubble tea behind. It would be gone the next morning, probably thrown away by hospital staff.

His family and friends usually invited him over. They cared for him, but he didn't want to go. He made excuses every time about practicing or being tired. As he stepped through his front door, his whole body began to sink in. All energy drowned out of him.
He saw his violin case sitting in the corner. There was already a small layer of dust on it.
For no particular reason, he opened it. He picked up his violin and placed it on his shoulder. It felt familiar and strange at the same time.
Before even tightening his bow he placed his instrument back into its case. No, he really didn't want to play.
Why am I dead and not you?  echoed the conductors' voice inside his head. Eddy grit his teeth. It's gonna be okay. He whispered to himself.

His phone ran and after a short look onto the screen he picked it up. 

"Hello, Doctor Williams."

"Hello, Mr. Cheng. I am sorry to call you this late, but unfortunately, I have to reschedule our appointment for tomorrow."

"Oh, okay."

"But I would like to see you next Monday if this is okay as an alternative date for tomorrow. Maybe at about 2 o'clock?"

"Yeah. Sure."

"Great. See you then. Bye."

"Bye."

Eddy hang up and threw his phone onto the couch. Suddenly he felt even more empty. The first time he saw his therapist Mr. Williams he was very skeptical. But now he was always looking forwards to their sessions. He was not sure if it helped him, but at least this guy didn't freak out while Eddy talked about blood, killing, nightmares, etc.

He remembered the dream from last night. Eddy, help me! I am dying. The feeling he had was unbearable.

It's gonna be okay.

Eddy walked into his kitchen. Maybe he should eat something. It was the third day in a row he had just consumed sugar water or coffee. But instead of opening the fridge he took a knife and had a long look at it.  Without reason, he placed it gently onto his left forearm. Just a little bit of pressure would do the job. Like putting pressure on a string. A little bit of pain and time and it would be over. Eddy, help me. Eddy stood there for a moment. Feeling the cold metal laying on his skin. Eddy, say something. His head began spinning. Memories flickered before his eyes. Guilt swept his heart. I am dying.
He bit his lip, tensed his body, and cut carefully into his arm. Blood dripped down. Not much but enough to scare him. He let go of the knife which fell to the floor. Eddy breathed heavily as he watched the thin red line on his arm. It was short and not too deep, but it still hurt. Eddy, I am scared. After a moment he grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his arm. He felt ashamed and numb.

Why do you get to live?

"I don't' know!", Eddy screamed. He shook his head, but the voice wouldn't leave him alone. Eddy, help me. He had to get out of here. So he grabbed his keys and stormed out of the door.

He drove into no particular direction with Tchaikovsky playing at full volume, going way too fast, crying so hard he could barely focus on the road ahead.

Eddy, I am scared.

"Shut up, Brett.", whimpered Eddy.

Help me.

"I can't!"

Eddy, I am dying.

"What am I suppose to do?", screamed Eddy at the top of his lungs.

Eddy, please.

...

Eddy, say something.

"Okay.", Eddy whispered. "I am coming to you, Brett."

He accelerated the car even more, clinched onto the steering wheel and closed his eyes.

In Eddy's living room his cellphone rang again and again. But nobody was there to pick it up.

A text message appeared on the screen. 

It was from Mrs. Yang: "Brett woke up!"

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Hey, thank you so much for reading my story and staying with it even if I upload it so unregular.

Now I need your help. I am not sure where to go from here. I have a few ideas, but tell me what you think. Do you want more about their relationship (nsfw stuff or not?), or how they deal with their memories, or maybe end it here and start something new (I like open endings :D )?