Crossroads of Life

A/N: This is the prologue(: Hope you like.

Her door lay open from earlier in the week, from before this big mess, and there on Bailey’s bed sat her laptop. It was open. A tear rolled down my cheek as I turned it on. A draft of a Microsoft Word document flashed onto the screen when I moved the mouse pad. It was a letter, addressed to me; I sat down on her purple comforter and began to read.

‘Dear Niall,

Well, I guess if you’re reading this, then I’m already gone. That must be weird, reading my thoughts after I’m no longer here. I could write an encyclopedia on what I’m about to tell you, but I just don’t have that kind of time.

I feel like I have loved you forever even though it’s only been about a year. I’ve loved you for as long as I knew you, I guess. I still love you. Even as you read this, I’m still madly in love with you. And worst of all, it’s the kind of love that gives you butterflies or sparks or whatever; the kind of love that makes you just a little crazier.. Okay, a lot crazier.

I love everything about you. I love the way you laugh, the way your soft hands feel in mine. I love the nights we spent just eating and talking about everything and nothing. You trying to throw jelly beans into my mouth, and failing. I didn’t just love the big things about you; I loved the little things too. Like the way you’d always smile down at me all of a sudden, and then press your lips softly against my head, giving me a light squeeze. I love your big blue eyes and sense of humour. I love you just the way you are.

But that’s not what I’m writing to you about. Do you remember that day on the dock in Louisville, when I made you promise that you wouldn’t fall for me? Your broke that promise. I’m glad you did. I made promises that day too. And what I need to tell you is that I also broke my promises...’

The tears clouded my eyes, preventing me from reading on. I heaved in slowly as I breathed, realizing when she wrote this she was already using the past tense. My insides turned and something inside me grew heavy. As hard as I tried, I couldn’t shake the thick lump in my throat. She can’t leave me. Not now, not ever. And with that thought, another tear rolled slowly down my cheek, and I watched as it dripped onto her sheets. I grabbed them and brought them up to my nose. They smelled like her, like raspberries and summer air. I curled up in a ball on her bed and lay there, unable to will myself to read more.