Love Unexpectedly

Chapter 11

I stood there shocked and disoriented. I didn't even know if I'm standing there for a couple of minutes or hours. I couldn't move!

What the hell just happened?

Did Alexander rejected me for the second time around?

And did he just insulted me, saying no one will ever agree to sleep with me?

Why?

Am I that ugly? Undesirable? But I could clearly see it in his eyes that he wants me! Or maybe I just misinterpreted it?

My mind is running with a lot of unanswered questions. I can't even follow it.

And then something breaks...and I cried. I cried so loud that I think my bodyguard could hear me. No, possibly the whole building can hear me now. But I didn't care, I just want to let it all out.

I cried for all the loneliness I feel.

I cried for all the insults I heard.

I cried for all the unfairness of the world.

I cried for the hurt and pain that Alexander has caused.

I've never been this devastated and heartbroken in my entire life.

I just cried until I have no more tears left in me.

Later that night, I lay awake thinking about the bad things that happened to me. I should stop feeling sorry for myself like it's my fault that I'm in this situation. I shouldn't let those people get to me. Because if I do, they'll eventually destroy me.

I should stop letting them control my mind and emotions.

Fuck them! I think I like that word.

Fuck!

Fuck you, bitches!

Fuck you, Alexander!

I hope you all go to hell! I shouted in my mind.

There, I think my conscience likes hearing it.

Feeling happy and resolved, I sleep a little restlessly that night.

A month has passed and I didn't see Alexander or hear anything from him. That's a good thing though because I don't want to see him either. But our family dinner will be this coming Friday and I'm not sure if I'm ready to see him by then.

Well, I don't blame him for rejecting me. He's right anyway. I'm doing it all wrong. It's not right to force anyone to sleep with someone you're not attracted to. Both parties should be willing and at least, should like each other physically to act with it.

I've been thinking about it for days now and I think I owe Alexander an apology. I shouldn't have put him in that situation. Regardless, he acted like a real asshole to me which is unforgivable, but still, what I did is wrong too. He was trapped and any normal person would do or say anything hurtful in order to escape from that situation.

I plan to talk to him about it after dinner. And I'll have to corner him one more time. At least he wouldn't protest or run since our parents will be there.

As for now I just have to formulate what to say to him and how to apologize. With luck, he'll forgive me and we'll just forget about it.

Friday came and I found myself sitting opposite of Alexander in the drawing-room of my parents home. And to my horror, we're both alone. My parents are upstairs while his parents are still on the way here.