why me?

III

The ride back to the dorm had been a complete mess. Wails and pathetic sniffles had filled the cramped space, giving Namjoon an immense headache as he tried to focus on the road. Yoongi had been crying nonstop ever since they left Sejin's office, and as much as he cared about the smaller boy, it was annoying him to hell.

One particular harsh sob, followed by a soft scream, made him snap as he looked at Yoongi through the rear-view mirror. ''Could you stop throwing a fucking tantrum?! You're not the only one who feels shitty Yoongi!'', he yelled, his voice dangerously low. The little immediately covered his mouth to silence himself a bit as his body shook with the force of his sobs, making Namjoon feel slightly bad about his outburst, but making no effort to calm him down.

He sighed, obviously relieved once they reached the dorm and got out of the car as soon as he turned off the engine, not bothering to wait for the rest of them.

Hoseok smiled sadly as he carried the crying Yoongi inside, trying to cheer him up with his signature smile. However, it didn't reach his eyes. Yoongi sniffled sadly as he clung onto the taller boy, hiding his face as he mumbled. Seokjin appeared in the doorway of the bathroom as Hoseok was cleaning the little up and helped him dress the boy in a onesie. Once they were comfortably laying on the bed, with Yoongi in between them, Yoongi began to mumble.

''Y-Yoonie ish sowwy, vewy sowwy. Wiww Kookie come back? Yoonie sowwy...'', the poor boy mumbled, his voice hoarse from crying and his red, swollen eyes sadly looking up at the two caregivers.

Seokjin felt his heart clench as he watched him and cooed softly, hugging him tightly. ''Of course my sweet baby, Kookie will come back. You did nothing wrong kitten'', he smiled softly and rubbed his back. ''Close your eyes, and rest, okay baby? Have a nice dream about playing with Kookie when he comes back!'', he tried to cheer the boy up.

Hoseok's smile fell as he watched the little nod sadly and close his eyes, sucking on his thumb as he snuggled closer.

At the same time Taehyung had locked himself in the bathroom, staring at himself in the mirror with empty eyes and a blank face. He didn't even seem to notice the tears streaming down his face, until Jimin forcefully had broken down the bathroom door and hugged him tightly while whispering soft soothing words to him. Sejin's words had hit the younger boy harder than even he himself expected, but now he couldn't shake off the hollow feeling in his heart, pain tugging on his chest as he silently cried in Jimin's arms.

The older boy carried him to his room, lying down on the bed while holding Taehyung close. He continued cuddling with him, occasionally whispering soothing words to the distressed boy, who ended up crying himself to sleep.

''How is Yoongi doing?'', Namjoon's vocie filled the quiet hallway just as Seokjin had closed the door to Yoongi's room quietly. He covered his mouth to muffle the shriek as he jumped slightly, making Namjoon pout a bit.

''I'm sorry hyung, I didn't mean to startle you'', he said quietly, playing with his fingers as he refused to look up. Seokjin thought he looked vulnerable like this, his strong RM facade gone for the moment. Seokjin remembered when he first met Namjoon. The poor boy was just a kid, yet he beared the responsibility of all 7 of them on his shoulder and never once complained. Seokjin felt sorry for the boy.

Namjoon coughed awkwardly and turned around. ''I'll be in my room'', he whispered before he nearly ran away, locking his bedroom door behind him.

Seokjin sighed softly, thinking back at the talk with Sejin. Of course, they were all hurt, but Namjoon was the one who had to take responsibility. The young rapper had always tried to push himself past his limits, overworking himself as he tried to fit in his leader role. However, Seokjin knew that underneath the facade of dimpled smiles and sparkling eyes, there were mountains of insecurities and seas filled with perfectionism, ready to collapse and swallow Namjoon at the slightest inconvenience.

Seokjin shook his head to get rid of his train of thoughts and decided to go to the kitchen to make coffee. Jimin joined him at the kitchen table after a while, letting his head rest on his hand. He sighed with a frown.

''Is Yoongi okay?'', Jimin asked softly, and Seokjin couldn't help but smile at the overprotective boy. Jimin huffed and crossed his arms, pouting. ''I'm serious! Is he okay? Namjoon went quite hard on him earlier...'', Jimin stared at a coffee stain on the table, hearing the clock tick as seconds passed in silence.

After a few moments, Seokjin answered. ''He's blaming himself. Again. God, I... We need to get our Kookie back, and fast'' Seokjin slammed his fist on the table, making Jimin jump and stare at him with wide eyes.

Seokjin immediately apologized and hid his face behind his hands. ''Sorry, I just... Yoongi, he's probably never going to forgive himself... Namjoon is falling apart again, and Hobi looks so, so sad. And Tae didn't say anything and you're obviously just trying to stay strong and I-'', Before he could finish his sentence, Jimin was hugging him. He squeezed his oldest hyung tightly against his chest as he himself cried.

''I'm failing as a hyung, I should be able to keep our family together.''

Jimin shook his head at the statement and pulled Seokjin to the couch. He pushing the older down on it before lying down as well, snuggling into Seokjin's chest. ''It'll be okay, we can fix this hyung'', he whispered to him as they cried together.

The group was falling apart, barely holding together with the hope of being able to fix the mess they created, before their family broke apart forever.

But how funny is it that fate never gives us what we most desperately hope for?