why me?

X

Hoseok frowned as he heard cries from Jungkook’s room. He slowly, quietly walked closer to listen, barely able to make out the rushed and slurred words coming from the youngest.

“D-didn’t mean to, didn’t mean to!”

Hoseok blinked, not understanding what the boy meant. Did he break something? Did he fall? Endless scenarios popped up in Hoseok’s head as he tried to listen to what the person on the other line said.

“Kookie scawed of meanies, they hewe. No mean to swip, Kookie scawed!

Oh.

Hoseok sighed. So he had finally slipped. Part of Hoseok was happy, he had been worried that Jungkook tried to avoid his headspace now that he was back. Another, larger part of him turned ice-cold as he listened, scared of what was going to happen next.

Hoseok rubbed the side of his head as he tried to think. Going inside wasn’t an option. They had promised to respect Jungkook’s decision; they wouldn’t interact with little Jungkook unless the boy deemed them worthy of his trust and came to them on his own. Hoseok wasn’t about the be the one to break that promise, not after he saw how badly they had hurt him.

~~~

Hoseok remembered the day he found out Jungkook had gone missing. That night everything had seemed completely normal. Jungkook was smiling and joking around with Jimin, maybe smiling a little less than usual, but he had looked so happy and cheerful.

Nothing seemed wrong when they went to bed, no one suspected a thing until the next morning came around.

Hoseok had woken up early, deciding to claim the bathroom and take a shower before any of the youngest members could do so. Don’t get him wrong, he loved them, but he also loved his warm showers.

He went to wake Jimin up, finding him and Taehyung tangled up in a pile of limbs, unclear where one started and the other ended. He laughed softly and simply turned on the lights, earning a whine and a plush thrown to his head as he filled the room with his contagious laughter.

He then went to wake Jungkook up. Hoseok was actually hoping Jungkook would feel little that day. He had been doing a lot of research, as Jungkook was completely different when he was little than Yoongi. Hoseok was excited to play with the cute maknae and use his newfound knowledge.

He opened the door to Jungkook’s room, not even looking at the bed as he went straight to the curtains. The boy pulled them open. “Rise and shine Kookie, the sun is already awake!”, Hoseok hummed, using a high pitched voice as if he was talking to a baby. He frowned as he got no answer, not even a small noise, and turned around.

He walked over to the Jungkook-shaped lump underneath the blanket. “Wakey wake, it’s breakfast time.” Hoseok tried again but to no avail.

Hoseok sighed and pulled the blanket away. He was shocked to see two pillows, instead of their maknae. Hoseok looked around the room. “Haha Kookie, very funny. Come here baby!”, he laughed, though the small tremor was noticeable.

He once again received no answer and frantically started searching the entire dorm. “Come here Jungkook, where ever you are! Please come out!”, he said, growing more and more desperate every second.

Several doors down the hallway opened, revealing sleepy members who all looked confused. Seokjin was the first one to snap out of it and walked towards the panicking boy.

“What’s wrong Hoseok?”, he frowned as he steadied him. Hoseok looked at him with wide eyes and gulped.

“Jungkook is gone…”

Hell had broken loose after that.

“What do you mean he’s gone?!”, Namjoon tried to stay calm, but that was impossible considering everyone was freaking out, including himself.

Everyone was talked loudly, making it useless to try and listen to one another. Seokjin was the one who pushed everyone into the living room and silenced them, a frown on his usually calm face.

“Okay. We have to figure out what happened”, he said, making sure everyone heard him.

Hoseok raised his hand. “Hyung? His stuffed bunny is also gone”, the younger mumbled. Jimin frowned and raised his hand as well.

“Maybe… He ran away?”, he said, regretting it immediately. The eerie silence that followed made the air suffocatingly thick. No one dared to move, no one dared to speak up until Namjoon got up as well.

“But why? What could possibly have happened for him to leave us?”, though the leader appeared calm, the frown on his face said enough about the turmoil going on inside.

“Jungkookie is such a big baby, I’m surprised he can be so little, haha!”

“Would Bangtan be better without him?”

Taehyung repeated those words in his mind over and over again, as a cd stuck on repeat. He couldn’t stop thinking about it, he couldn’t end the downwards spiral of thoughts that only made him feel worse, guilt eating away at him.

Jimin was the first one to speak up after a long time, minutes feeling like hours went by. “I don’t get it, we were just joking around”, the boy looked genuinely confused as he looked around.

They would understand later. After they got yelled at and were told a part of Jungkook’s story. And they had never felt so much regret in their lives.

They worked hard to get Jungkook back, sending him letters, messages, leaving voicemails when he wouldn’t pick up his phone. They were desperate for any form of direct contact with their youngest, but it felt like Jungkook had disappeared off the face of the earth.

~~~

Hoseok sighed and sat down on the floor, his back leaning against Jungkook’s door. Even if he couldn’t directly comfort the boy, he could at least make sure he was safe. He stayed like that until the soft murmurs coming from Jungkook’s phone died down a bit, indicating that Baekhyun was done comforting the upset little.

Hoseok left his spot with a heavy heart, but he knew what he had done was for the best. He hadn’t broken the boy’s trust again, giving him space to sort things out at his own pace.

And that was exactly what Jungkook needed.