I Don't Love You Too

Chapter 7 - The Truth

I sighed before beginning to speak.

"Merida - this is going to sound stupid, and crazy, and insane, and I'm not sure how to say it without sounding like an idiot, not that I'm not already an idiot but you know -"

"Just say it Hiccup," Merida murmured.

"Um, okay, this is going to sound completely ridiculous and I don't know how to put it into words really, but I, I think I love you."

I said it. I said it. It was out in the open now and I could continue talking nearly normally.

"I, I didn't realise it before but I can see now that I was completely blind. I might have loved you for even longer, I just didn't realise it. I just -" I paused, trying to think of something to say. "D'you remember when I said I'd always be there? When we were ten?"

Merida nodded in reply. I continued.

"That meant so much more than I thought it would. I can't believe it, but I - I fell in love with my best friend."

Merida merely sat there and looked at me.

"Well, say something," I murmured, looking briefly into her eyes. I break up with each and every one of her looks at me. It's stupid how she makes me feel.

"I never realised you remembered that," she mumbled. "I thought you forgot all about everything. I clung onto that belief for six years."

I couldn't take it anymore. I pulled her into an embrace and I felt her bury her head into my shoulder, holding onto me like I was life support. I did the same. My grip around her tightened as I felt her pull me even closer.

"I've been so stupid," she whispered into my shirt. "I can't believe that I left it so long. I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault," I murmured into her mass of crimson curls. "I was an idiot too. I went with Astrid when I could have had you. How more stupid can you get?"

I felt her chuckle into my shoulder and we finally broke apart. We looked into each other's eyes for a moment before Merida placed her head gently upon my shoulder. I put an arm around her and pulled her closer, always closer. As I sat there so many thoughts ran through my head I couldn't distinguish all of them. There were too many. But the main one screaming out at me was - you lucky bastard!

Merida snuggled into me and whispered,

"I'm sorry I left it so long. I didn't know if you were playing a joke on me. I didn't know whether to trust you."

"Stop worrying about it," I replied, "You're here now. That's all I care about."

There was a content silence (on my part anyway) before Merida spoke again.

"Hiccup?"

"... Yeah?"

"I - I love you too."

My heart felt like it had performed a gymnastics routine that I could only dream of doing. I felt lighter than air. I could barely breathe. I was the happiest I'd ever been in my entire life - and this girl was the only person to thank for it.

"Merida?"

"- Yes?"

"Did anyone ever tell you you're beautiful?"

"Shut up," she sat up and looked away, smiling and blushing hard.

"Listen to me," I took her hand and stood up from the bench. "You're, you're gorgeous. Stunning. Amazing. I can't even put it into words. I just - ugh. I don't know how to say how much you've changed me. You mean more to me than I ever could understand. D'you, er, d'you get what I'm saying?"

Merida nodded.

"Yeah. Because I feel exactly the same way about you."

"It's, it's getting late," I whispered after a short, awkward silence. "D'you want me to walk you home?"

"I'm, I'm fine, thanks," Merida said quietly, not meeting my gaze.

"Come on," I pulled her hand, "I want to show you something."

I pulled her away and led her into a small place secluded from anyone else who could be looking at us, not that there were any. It was underneath a canopy of trees. Merida's face was lit by a sliver of moonlight breaking through the canopy above.

"What did you want to show me?"

"I didn't. I just wanted to be alone with you."

Merida laughed to herself.

"You're a complete dork Hiccup."

"Fine. Next time I'll just say - 'hey, Merida, follow me into this darkened alleyway so I can kiss you'..."

I began to lean closer to her. We were already only an inch or two apart.

"I'll just say, 'hey, Merida, follow me to Wonderland'..."

My hand was touching her cheek. She was standing there, frozen. She didn't seem capable of moving, until we were so close I could almost hear her heartbeat.

"I'm not good at this," she whispered as her eyes snapped open.

"I don't care," I replied. "Neither am I."

"I don't want it to be terrible," she murmured.

"It won't be," I tucked a curl behind her ear as softly as I could, "I'm with you."

Suddenly it happened. Suddenly we weren't apart anymore. We were joined at the lips, the hands, the hips. Our hands were everywhere and I found myself falling into oblivion. Because I wasn't just kissing her. It felt like I was a part of her. It was the most beautiful and unusual and fantastic sensation I've ever had, and instead of quenching my thirst for her, it only made it worse. I just wanted to stay here forever, locked in that place just above Heaven, suspended in eternity. I needed to see her, to be with her, to feel her, to kiss her.

"I love you Merida," I breathed. And I meant it. I meant it so much it made me mad. If she knew how much I meant it I'd scare her and she'd run. I loved her so much it was distorting my reality.

I saw her eyes widen and a smile creep over her lips as she heard my words. It turned into a great, beaming thing that made me smile too, the stupid smile that made me look ridiculous. I stopped as soon as I realised I was doing it. Merida wrapped her arms around my neck (which in turn made my nerves light on fire. Damn, I got too nervous around girls.) and looked directly into my eyes.

"Don't stop smiling, Hiccup. It's cute."

"Cute?"

"Yeah. It's cute as hell. I love it when you smile."

"C'mere you," I grinned and pulled at her waist. She slid into my arms and I kissed her again. My hands swept through her hair and it was like the world had frozen, just for us. We broke apart, but only at the lips. Our foreheads were touching and we were pressed together so hard they hurt. Our eyes never left each other's. They couldn't. They were like magnets, drawn to each other no matter what we said or did.

"Come on," Merida whispered, holding me close to her, "we have to go. It's really late. Your dad'll wonder where you are."

"As long as I get to see you tomorrow."

"And the day after."

"And the day after that."

"I love you Hiccup."

"I love you too."

A/N Quite a lot of the dialogue in this is based off of Rainbow Rowell's book Eleanor and Park, so please don't sue me, I just thought it was cute as hell :)