1 most of the time... when you're crying, nobody notices your tears. Most of the time... when you're worried, nobody
feels your pain. Most of the time... when you're happy, nobody sees your smile. But when you fart just one time...
2 You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I'm scared!
3 I consider myself a crayon, I might not be your favorite color but one day you'll need me to complete your picture.
4 Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
5 Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
6 People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
7 I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
8 A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
9 A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
10 I'm an idealist. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way.
11If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month.
12 My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.
13 Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.
14Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.
15If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.
16Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
17A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
18 I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
19Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children.
20 The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.
21 i'm not lazy i'm just in energy saving mode
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awesome people's guide to funny fun 2
General FictionHey guys this is my second book. don't judge .my first book was awesome people's guide to funny fun. none of these jokes are mine they are just jokes I remember or thought were funny I will not update regularly but probably every other day warning t...
