hey whats up dudes and dudets sorry i havent updated in a month. since a month is like 30 days i will give u 30 jokes.
1. Escalators don’t break down… they just turn into stairs
2. “I’m sorry” and “I apologize” mean the same thing… except when you’re at a funeral.
3. I intend to live forever… or die trying.
4. We never knew he was a drunk… until he showed up to work sober.
5. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
6. A blind man walks into a bar….And a table, and a chair.
7. At what age is it appropriate to tell my dog that he’s adopted?
8. Want to hear a pizza joke…. nah, it’s too cheesy. What about a construction joke? Oh never mind, I’m still working on that one. Did you hear the one about the rope? Skip it. Have you heard the one about the guy in the wheelchair? Never mind, it’s too lame.
9. I used to be in a band, we were called ‘lost dog’. You probably saw our posters.
10. I childproofed the house… but they still get in!
11. Q. What did the police officer say to the midget complaining that someone picked his pocket? A. I can’t believe someone would stoop so low.
12 Q. How did the blonde die while drinking milk. A.The cow sat down.
13 Me: should I get into trouble for something I didn't do?
Teacher: No
Me: Good, because I didn't do my homework.
14 Wifi went down for five minutes, so i had to talk to my family. They seem like nice people.
15 Boyfriend: Bitch
Girlfriend: I been called worse
Boyfriend: Like what
Girlfriend: your girlfriend
16 Imagine if your fridge did what you do to it everyday. Every half hour it goes to your room opens the door, and stares at you for 5 minutes then leaves.
17I was just sitting around, doing nothing, when I was arrested for impersonating the President of the United States.
18The only thing I use BING for is to search Google.
19Dad- Son, u better pass this exam or rather forget that im ur father!
Son- Sure dad! Whatever!
~5 hours later~
Dad- Howz ur exam?
Son- Who the hell r u???
20Me: would you wear shoes if you had no feet?
Girl: No,of corse not
Me: Then why do you wear bras?
21When the person you hate the most falls down, you ask the ground if its okay.
22How to make a girl furious in 2 steps...
Step 1, take a picture of her
Step 2, don't show it to her
23Today I decided to burn a lot of calories...So I lit a fat kid on fire!!!
24Every morning, I jog around my block 15 times. Then I pick up the block and put it back in my toy chest.
25My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.
26If Mexicans are known to sell drugs, what is really in Dora's backpack. I've always thought that girl seemed a little Too happy.
2769% Percent of people will find something wrong with this sentence.
28So who was the first guy to see an egg come out of a chickens ass and say, "I'm gonna eat that"?
29 the first thought that comes to my head when i see a nun in a wheel chair is virgin mobil
30Can you see the the mistake?
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awesome people's guide to funny fun 2
General FictionHey guys this is my second book. don't judge .my first book was awesome people's guide to funny fun. none of these jokes are mine they are just jokes I remember or thought were funny I will not update regularly but probably every other day warning t...
