Dazai sat in the bar, swirling the whiskey around in his glass. It had been a couple of weeks since he'd left the Mafia and his spirits were lower than ever. No matter how much he drank, he couldn't get Odasaku out of his mind, but on top of that, lurking in the shadows of his mind, there was Chuuya asking him if he was human, telling him that he didn't know what he'd do without his friend. The anger at Mori and the grief of seeing his friend die had driven him out of the mafia without even a word to his partner, except a bomb under his car.
Dazai sighed and drained his glass, paying the barman and stepping out onto the streets, wishing Odasaku was beside him so they could talk as they made their way back to the headquarters. Instead, there was silence.
He turned in the direction of his hotel and started to walk, instinctively listening out for the set of footsteps just a little slower than his own. Then, when he couldn't hear them, his brain instinctively searched for the footsteps that created a beat almost twice as fast as his own. Both were absent and he realised for the fifteenth time that day that he was all alone. One friend was dead and the other was now out of his reach in a place he told himself he would never return to.
He reached his hotel room and ordered a bottle of sake. He knew he shouldn't but he was just so depressed that he wanted more alcohol to numb him completely. As such, the bottle was empty by the time Dazai finally fell asleep.
Over the next few weeks and months, while he tried to lay low and find a place he could work, he realised just how alone he was. For once he wanted to talk about his feelings, but the two people who listened were gone, and he had no one to turn to. He missed Odasaku dearly and he felt as if his heart would never stop aching, but, he also missed the little man who would always be there, no matter what. He missed the man who would break down his door and demand an explanation for any unusual behaviour. He missed the man who gave his life energy and light.
Odasaku may have been the man that truly understood him, but Chuuya was the man who lit up his life.
YOU ARE READING
A Familiar Room
FanfictionChuuya wakes up in a place he knows too well, and following events cause a number of problems for him and Dazai (A Soukoku, But Not Really oneshot that was expanded into a multi-chapter fic)
