Deciding A Fate

Chapter 1:

"Mali! Come on, I don't have all day." My master, Renja, turns back to me as I huddle in the damp, cold stairwell to the dungeon.
"I don't know if I can do this..." I say, my teeth chattering, my knees literally shaking. "What if I make the wrong decision?" Renja's face softens, his eyes clouding over with memory.
"I know you will make the right choice. "Do you know why you are my apprentice?" He asks, and I shake my head. "You not only have a strong moral compass, but you yourself are strong. Strong enough to make the hard decisions when it comes to it, and strong enough to realize when compassion is strength."
Despite his words, I feel weak. In fact, I feel sick. Today, someone's fate will be in my hands for the first time, and I will either become a monster or an angel. Forgive, or punish. Death, torture, work, or let it go.
I remind myself that King Herald is counting on me to decide this for him. Of course, he will finalize the decision, but generally, he agrees. Which means he trusts us. No, I think, he trusts Renja. I am but an apprentice. And yet, I am deciding today. I nod and gulp and we continue walking, but an uncomfortable silence eats away at my soul as we walk.
"You will only decide one fate today, Mali. No more than that. I will not burden you with more. Yet as my apprentice of 2 years, it is high time you put your mind to good use. You answer all the scenarios I give you with utmost ease, this will hardly be different." Renja tries to comfort me, but we both know he is a bad liar, and the half truths he is throwing in are clear. Hardly different is not the same as not different.

This time, someone's life is in my hands.

"The prisoner you will decide for today has been here for only 2 days. You have 30 days for each prisoner, you must decide within 30 days. You may visit each prisoner as many times as you wish in that time."
"What if I can't make a decision?" I ask again, knowing the answer already. Renja answers me patiently nonetheless.
"You must make a decision then, or they will be sentenced to death. No one has ever waited that long, however. It is unheard of." I nod. We trudge to a steel door, and Renja reaches for his keys. They jingle in his hand, and a moment later, the lock clicks. Renja pulls the key for the dungeon entrance out of the lock, and leads me inside. Lanterns surround us, resulting in a well lit area with a desk, a chair, a broom and mop in the corner, and a wooden door to the side for the maids leading to the kitchen for the meals to be brought through. A guard sits at the desk, reading a book intently. He looks up at us when we pass, but his eyes recognize us and they flick back to his book, uninterested.
Renja leads me through a hallway to the right, opposite the kitchen door. The passage isn't nearly as well lit as the guard post, with one lamp every few cells. We walk to the fifth cell, the prisoners glancing up at us with distaste. One of them hisses at me. I ignore it. It is normal for them to despise us, but it is still hard to shake the feeling of people hating you. Even so, you must show no fear, or so Renja tells me. Renja looks in the fifth cell, and I see a large, well built man, in his 40s, sitting on his cot, clutching his knees. He looks up at us, and fear fills his blue eyes. Renja hands me the paperwork. I read it.
The prisoner of #5 stole 49 bags of his neighbors wheat from the harvest shed. I try not to look at him, although his eyes beg for my attention. I inhale and look up at Renja instead.
"Send him to a work camp to work off the debt he owes his neighbor." I say, the words coming out confidently, and I find that even though I am uneasy, I am no longer scared. Yes, I sentenced a man. But no, I don't feel like I did the wrong thing. Does that mean I'm no longer human? I wonder, gulping. I just gave a man a sentence, and I don't feel any regret. The man looks relieved, I see, as Renja leads me away, but still worried.

***

After dinner, I try to get my mind off of the man. I have been quiet all afternoon, wondering about him. Will he do okay at the work camp? Will his neighbor treat him terribly even after the debt is paid? I go to bed wondering these things and more. My sleep is no relief. My mind envisions the man working at the camp and dying of yellow fever from the terrible conditions there. His face dances between my eyes, and when I wake, I feel like I never went to bed at all. Renja sees me as I go into his study after cleaning, and his eyes light up. A smile radiates across his face.
"Mali!" He exclaims. He seems unusually excited. "King Herald has invited us to join him at the jousting tournament today! Put on your best dress! We are the king's guests!" He dances around his study, his hands fixing things that don't need to be fixed as I scurry away. Back in my room, I put on my only nice dress, a scarlet dress with a tan lace trim. A red ribbon ties around my waist to the side, and I pull a matching ribbon around my long brown-blonde hair, then undo it and braid two braids to meet in the back and tie them over the rest of my hair with the ribbon. I slip on my best shoes, a pair of tan slippers with a small tan bow at the toe, and then head out to meet Renja. He glances at my wardrobe change, nods, having composed himself, and leads me through the palace, out to the tournament grounds. There, crowds are gathered in stands and on the ground, surrounding a wooden fence in a large oval shape. Off to the side of the oval, opposite the stands, are horses, groups of men surrounding each horse like cliques. They stand in different groups, staring at other groups with dirty looks. Renja glances around, and leads me to a space beside the stands. I look around at the people in the stands. There are mostly noblemen and women, and a few of the king's relatives. Above all of them is a private box, a silk cloth cast over it for shade. A throne sits in the middle, with the king in it, and to his right, the queen. To his left is an empty seat, and next to that a young girl fans herself. The princess, I assume, with interest. I look back at the noblemen and women, who are murmuring excitedly. The women are wearing extravagant gowns, made of silk and other fine cloth. They wear large hats and have matching fans, which they hold in front of their faces, flapping delicately.
"Renja!" A voice calls, sounding excited and somewhat amused. "Come! Come sit here!" I look around, only to see the king motioning and gesturing at us and the seats in front of his box. The noblemen look at us with interest, and my face feels heated as Renja leads me to where the king had motioned before. For a moment, all the nobles eye us with distaste and interest and jealousy, but then they lose interest and return to talking amongst themselves.
"Renja! How are you?" King Herald greets Renja like an old friend. Without waiting for an answer, he looks at me. "And who is this?" A broad smile creeps across his face.
"Your Highness, this is my apprentice, Mali." Renja places a hand on my shoulder, and I curtsy politely.
"Your Highness," I murmur, unsure of what else to do. Should I speak? Should I not? Would it be rude not to? Luckily for me, King Herald moves the conversation along.
"I see. Well, Renja, how is work? Are any of the prisoners giving you a hard time?" His face seems serious.
"No, Your Highness." King Herald relaxes.
"Good, good. I've captured a few spies, so I'll need that to be dealt with. However, the ones I send you will not have been interrogated, and I'd like you to hold off on their fates until we find out more about their motives." King Herald says, in a low voice, and I realize that must be why we were invited here today. And with that, the tournament begins.