Insanity (A Gravity Falls in Wonderland AU)

Chapter 3: Sailing The Seas

If you don't know where you are going, any road will take you there.

~ Lewis Carroll

~

"Ugh, it's raining" Dipper grumbled as the rain got heavier, they had been walking the track for ages now and Bill was whining in the back as he followed along grudgingly. Mabel plucked a large leaf from a bush, and held it up, the rain pelting off it in fat drops, "Yeesh, you're right, this rain is just awful." she grumbled, huddling close to her brother so they wouldn't get wet. 

Bill summoned a real umbrella, see through and large enough for all of them, "Here" he muttered, handing it over to her. Mabel dropped the leaf and took it, the white rabbit content to stay sopping wet as he hopped along.

"Thank you Bill" Mabel said, smiling at the drenched cat, who was being rather kind for someone that hated them with every fiber of his being. Dipper lifted a foot as it filled with water and shook his shoe, "Anyone notice how it's flooding rather quickly?" he asked.

Mabel looked down, "Ugh, yeah, my socks are all squelchy."

"You land-walkers have it tough" Bill said, floating onto his back and looking behind them as he surveyed how far they'd come as he grinned. His smirk fell as he noticed the huge wave coming closer and closer, almost in slow motion and taller than the treetops, "Aw shit."

"What?" Dipper asked, avoiding a flower as it reached out to bite him with sharp teeth. Bill grabbed the umbrella and tuned it over, "Get on! Quickly!" he cried, ushering them onto the underside. The twins got on, wondering what the heck was going on, "Bill!? What's wrong!?" Dipper yelled over the torrent of water pelting down from the skies, heavier now and thick enough to blind them from their surroundings. 

Bill pointed a paw behind them, "We're about to be washed away!" he answered, grabbing the white rabbit and setting him down beside Mabel, "Hey! I was fine walking," WR complained, 

"Something tells me you don't know how to swim, so can it, Floppy ears!" Bill spat.

The gigantic wave sent them flying, and everyone held on for dear life as Dipper and Mabel screamed bloody murder, clutching the plastic handle as it threatened to break off. WR was enjoying himself immensely, holding on and giggling, "WHEEEEEEEEEE!!" he cried, his ears trailing out behind him, smacking Mabel in the face every time the wind changed directions.

"YOU DIDN'T TELL ME THE WEATHER WAS INSANE TOO!!" Dipper yelled over the noise of the water. WR grinned, "Naaaah, this is a normal Sunday!" he replied.

"It's not Sunday though!"

"Yes, it is!" WR cried, bringing out a calendar and shoving it into his face. The entire month was just Sunday after Sunday, after Sunday. Dipper screamed, already losing the plot with this crazy place. Bill would have been enjoying his suffering if it hadn't been for the fact he was cold, wet and practically powerless. The Cheshire cat's ears pricked up as a noise caught his attention and he jammed his tail into Dipper's mouth to quieten him. "Will you shut up, I can hear something!"

Dipper spat out the fluffy tail and "Hear what!? BEES!?"

WR swatted at the air as if seeing the tiny golden insects himself, "Shhh, not so loud, they might hear you!" he warned, smacking him on the head with an ear. They all stopped and fell silent as they heard it:

"Oh, a sailor's life is

The life for me

How I love to sail o'er

The bounding sea

And I never, never, ever do a thing about the weather. For the weather never, ever does a thing for me!" a very familiar voice sung loudly, and nicely in tune. Dipper squinted in the wet, searching for the infectious melodies owner. A large being appeared over the waves on a strange looking boat, waving a hand about as if conducting an imaginary Orchestra. The being looked like a dodo bird, and was wearing a green jacket with a question mark on the back.

"Oh, a sailor's life is the life for me

Tiddle-ee-um pom pom,

Deedle dum dum dee..."

"S-Soos?" Dipper asked, recognizing the dodo bird instantly as his boat docked beside theirs. "Hang on a second, dude" the dodo spoke, pulling out a large handkerchief and blowing his nose in a series of honks. Mabel giggled at the funny noises he made.

Dipper looked at the boat he was in, and figured out why it had looked so weird. It was made of tools, hammers, nails, screwdrivers and all sorts of miscellaneous things that really shouldn't be able to float. It was held together with a lot of superglue, enough that it gave the entire thing a sort of plastic-y glaze. Soos grabbed the umbrella and lifted it up into his boat, as easily as lifting a cup, "Need a hand?" he asked.

Mabel beamed, "Thank you."

Soos bowed, standing aside so they had room. A teal coloured bird being that looked like Wendy was bailing out the water coming in through the cracks, a damp, green flannel shirt tied around her middle as her clawed feet clung to the boat. Dipper raised an eyebrow, "So who are you guys?" he asked.

"Doo doo doo doo, I'm a dodo yo!" Soos sang, doing a little tap dance and the jazz hands.

"Are your names Soos and Wendy by any chance?"

Wendy, nodded quickly, "Yes, how did you know!? Are we famous? Soos we're famous!" she cried, throwing the bucket overboard in her excitement. Soos grinned, "Aw, neat dude! I knew my mixed tape of Blanchin In My Mansion would be a big hit!"

Mabel shook her head, "No, we've actually met different versions of you in another dimension!" she explained. Wendy fished the bucket out of the water before it could float away, "You're Alices!" she asked.

Dipper nodded tiredly, "That's what everyone keeps telling us" he muttered, patting Bill's back as the cat threw up over the side. "Do you know the way to the Blue King's castle by any chance?" he added.

Wendy held out a feathery hand, a small item perched on her palm, "An Alice gave us this once, he was a nice Alice, brown hair, long blue dress" she said, placing the item onto his hand. Dipper stared at the UFO key chain. It looked like something from his Grunkles shack, in fact it was exactly that. Either that or the owner of this key chain had bought it from the same place Stan had ordered them from.

Soos chuckled, "It was only cause I liked the pretty flashy noises it made."

"Do you know anything else about this Alice? What where they like?" Dipper asked. Wendy booped his nose, "Look at this Alice, Soos. He's adorable, look at his little red nose!"

"I like his hat" Soos replied.

Wendy took his hat and set it down on her friend's head, "How do I look?" Soos asked, pouting his lips and batting his eyelashes. "Nice?" Dipper replied, not too sure what to say, and getting kind of grumpy the two were avoiding his questions.

"LAND HOOOOO!" WR screamed, pointing to a land mass appearing from the mist. 

Dipper brightened up, "Where?" he asked, grabbing his hat back and jamming it on his head.

Bill looked up from his hurling and groaned, "Aw shit" he muttered, wiping his mouth and fading in and out as he tried to control his body. Mabel frowned, "Bill? What is it?" she asked. The sickly cat pointed to the upcoming rocks jutting out of the cliff side, his fur a green colour as he fought the nausea. 

Dipper grabbed the side as they lurched forward,

"Oh, no."