Insanity (A Gravity Falls in Wonderland AU)

Chapter 2: Tea Time

'But I don't want to go among mad people,' said Alice. 'Oh, you can't help that,' said the cat. 'We're all mad here.'

~ Lewis Carroll

~

They led the lost three through the colored forests and strange flora and fauna. Mabel skipped ahead as Bill and Dipper followed behind, both finding this adventure as unpleasant as an unexpected visit from an over affectionate aunt with big bosoms.

Who liked hugs.

Eventually the forest trail they were walking upon stopped at a crossroads, and the trees to the sides of the pathway had thinned out considerably. The Wonderlander's grinned as they pushed back the branches and ushered them through into a clearing, 

"Welcome to tea time!" WR cried, bouncing over to a long table laden with sweets of all kinds. There were pastries, biscuits, scones with jam, cakes and muffins and even gluten free options. A man sat at the end, his feet up on the table and an unimpressed look on his face as the group came forward. His top hat was fancy and had a card stuck in the brim with the words 'No Refunds' in bold and messy ink.

Mabel gasped, "Grunkle Stan! What's he doing here?" she asked her twin, shaking him by the shoulders happily. Stan raised an eyebrow and nudged WR as the rabbit bought him over some tea, "This is the new Alice?" he questioned.

WR nodded, spilling the hot liquid as he set the cup down on the table, "They both are. Both of them wear the girly dress they do!" he answered. Stan snorted, "Right, and what are your actual names, kids?" he asked, gesturing for them to take a seat.

"Name's Mabel, rhymes with this here table" Mabel replied in her best cowboy accent, which still wasn't very good despite her claims it had won awards.

"Dipper" Dipper answered, sounding bored with the conversation already as his sister took a seat.

"LIES!" WR screeched, knocking the tea pot he was reaching for over. Hot water spread across the table cloth, soaking into the fabric and wetting quite a few bakery delights. Stan shushed him "Shut up and sit down, White Rabbit, also I found your watch, I think it's a bit broken though" he said, pulling out a pocket watch from his jacket sleeve and passing it over. 

WR took it and grinned as a spring shot out the open back, "Nope! It's perfectly fine! Tick tock, tick tock, TICK TOCK! TICK TOCK!" he screeched happily, jumping around the table, while his long ears flopped this way and that.

"Sit down, Dipper, and have something to eat, tell me how you got here, because there hasn't been an Alice for a very long time, at least a week" Stan said, pulling out a chair for him. 

Dipper sat down in it cautiously, "That's not long."

Bill rolled his eyes and floated over, "Time works differently here, Pine tree" he said, sitting on his head and curling up comfortably. Dipper frowned at his actions but made no move to push him off. Stan nodded "A week, a day, 30 years, it's all relative" he said.

"Exactly!" Bill replied.

"So, answer the question, how did you get here?"

"We fell down a hole"

"I see...What kind of hole? Was is big? Or small?"

"It was a hole"

There was an awkward silence for a few minutes, save for the loud sips of tea WR was taking as he shook with caffeine and madness, his left ear soaking in the butter dish. Pink and Blue were shoving food into there mouth's and hoarding the biscuits, while a dormouse poked his head out from a tea cup and yawned before grabbing a sugar cube and returning to its nap.