𝒯𝒽ℯ 𝒟ℯℯ𝓅 𝒞𝓊𝓉; 𝓂𝓅

unforgiveable

a/n: listen to this song while reading this chapter, I thought it went well together.

i lifted my head up and slowly walked towards the door. it was around 4 o'clock so I could still see whoever was outside. I looked through the peep hole and what u saw was unexpected.

it was mattia

i thought he wasn't coming anymore after what had happened in the lunchroom. and besides that i didn't even want to look at him after what he did. he kept ringing the doorbell and knocking. he then yelled saying, " I KNOW UR IN THERE Y/N"
i didn't answer and I just ran upstairs to my room hoping he would just go away because I didn't want to hear him. then he went silent. i went to my bed and I was staring at my ceiling. i then glanced over to my closet.
i saw my blue teddy bear. yea ik im a sixteen year old with a blue teddy bear but my mom bought it for me. i then went to my teddy bear and jumped on my bed and hugged it. I inhaled and it had a faint smell of my mom's perfume. my eyes became watery just remembering my parents. it then stopped when I heard thuds at my window. almost as if someone was throwing something. my blinds were open so I could see who was outside. i looked through my window and saw mattia and immediately threw myself back so he couldn't see me but he saw me.
he yelled, " PLEASE Y/N I WANT TO TALK TO U"
at first I hesitated but then I opened my window.

I yelled, " WHAT DO U WANT FROM ME"
he yelled back, " I WANT TO TALK TO U" i knew that if I said no he would keep bugging me. so I just rolled my eyes and went down the stairs to open the front door. so I did.
he rushed through the door before I barely even opened it half an inch. i closed the door and crossed my arms together looking at him.
"what do u want from me" I asked obviously annoyed.
" listen I came here to apologize,it's not what it looks like" he said
"really it's not what it looks like?" I asked
he stayed silent and I slapped him across the face.
he looked at me and his eyes showed anger. he honestly deserved it. I was almost scared. I took a step back because of how scared I was. i have never seen this look on his face before. he looked like he calmed down and he raised his hand and I flinched because I thought he would hit me.
but he didn't, he looked at me in disbelief.
mattia: u actually think I would hit u? i just wanted to hug u
y/n: i just got scared
mattia: *scoffs* whatever
y/n: why did u come here?
mattia: it's hazel. she came up to me 1st period of school today
y/n: okay? ur point?
mattia: let me finish. she told me how if I didn't take her back she would leak my nudes that I had sent her when we were together freshman year.
y/n: wait so she was ur ex that dated u in freshman year?
mattia: yea. anyways I didn't want her to leak them so I went along with it.
y/n: so how do u explain that video u posted in ur spam account on instagram?
mattia: i did it because that's what hazel would've wanted. if I didn't do what she wanted I would be embarrassed in front of the whole school.
y/n: u don't think I was embarrassed in front of the whole school?
mattia: that's why I came here to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry for what she did and not even that, I'm also sorry for freshman year. I let her mess with my head because of how blindly in love I was with her. I stopped talking to u and u didn't deserve that.
y/n: and u just now realize that? after all these years?
mattia: i was so dumb. and yet so scared
y/n: scared of what?
mattia: of doing this.
and right then and there he grabbed me and our faces were centimeters apart. he put his hand behind my head and one on my waist. he looked at my eyes then at my lips and I was so shocked. I have had strong feelings for him for a long time now. i got so caught up in the moment and completely forgot what he had done. with that his lips met mine. it felt like there was a spark in that kiss. and he wasn't rushing the kiss, it was a slow and passionate one.
his lips tasted like caramel and he smelled so good. I then pulled away because all that pain he caused me since freshman year came back to me once I realized what I was doing.
y/n: u should go
mattia: u didn't feel anything in that kiss?
y/n: no I didn't, so u should go home before ur parents get worried
the truth is I did feel something. almost like a strong connection to that kiss. but I lied, I didn't want him to know what I felt. he looked so sad but I tried to look like I didn't care. he left without looking back and when I looked outside i swear I thought I saw a teardrop fall from his eye, but he wiped it away quickly before I was really able to notice.

a/n I feel like I should start writing the dialogue this way because it might be easier.