Toxic

C1: Straighten You Out

Chapter1-Straighten You Out

White paper. Yellow flame, orange flame, red flame. Blue lighter. White smoke.

It's all the same. Every time, nothing changes. The effects are always the same, always the burning sensation in my throat, the aching feeling in my chest, the bad taste in my mouth. The people never change. My boyfriend, a drug dealer, never loses his love of drugs, no matter how many times he'd puked from snorting too much powder. The drug users that meet us at his door are always twitchy, jumpy, persistent. Always wanting so many drugs, trying to get Jason to lower the price. Always scaring me.

I, most of all, never changed. I never stopped seeing Jason. Never stopped doing drugs. Never stopped sneaking out every night to meet Jason and have sex in his car. Never stopped doing the awful things that were bound to bring more trouble the next time. I didn't stop, didn't change anything.

It was all my fault.

"Lydia, why did your principal call me in for a meeting today?" Mom asked as I got in the car.

I shrugged. "Don't you two have meetings all the time? Or are those just dates?"

Her eyes narrowed. "Don't turn this around on me-"

"Mom, I've heard this before. There's nothing you could say that I haven't heard before." I'd been in trouble so many times. It was a surprise my mom even had the slightest bit of patience with me.

"Oh, I think there is. You're staying with your father this summer. We'll see if that straightens you out any."

"Dad? You've got to be kidding me!" My dad divorced my mom right before I started middle school, right before all the trouble started. He, oddly enough, turned out to be attracted to guys, instead of mom, and left her for a guy. They moved away, somewhere desolate and far away from any big cities, somewhere away from mom, my brother, and I. We barely talked and I liked keeping it that way.

"No, I'm not. I've explained everything to him and he seems to think he can turn you around."

I rolled my eyes and gritted my teeth, preventing me from saying anything. The only thing dad could turn me around to is being gay and that was not happening. I loved my boyfriend; I couldn't leave him. He was the only good thing in my life, him and the drugs he sold really. Without him... I couldn't even imagine how depressing my life would be.

"Start packing tonight. Your father's coming to pick you up Saturday morning." It was like mom didn't even want me around anymore. Two days? Two days was all I had left. Two days to smoke and snort and drink as much toxins as I could.

That wasn't enough time.

When mom pulled into the driveway, I got out as soon as I could, slamming the car door and the front door. I put a chair under the knob of my bedroom door and curled up into a ball on my bed.

My phone, a cheap, fifteen dollar phone, vibrated under my pillow. Jason.

Got a new shipment in today. Wanna come over and share it with me?

I wanted to chuck my phone at the wall. I wanted to call him and scream at him that I wasn't in the mood to do anything. I wanted to do so many mean things to everyone around me. But that wouldn't do me any good. Not if I wanted to stay here.

Pick me up?

His response came almost immediately. Twenty minutes. Same spot.

Since mom absolutely hated Jason, I had to meet him in the alley every time he came to pick me up. She had only met him once but that one time was enough. Then again, she didn't like any of my boyfriends. I didn't think it was anything personal. Jason didn't care. Mom's loss.

I wiped the tears from my face and walked over to my closet. Inside the tiny space was a shoe box hidden by a pile of old shoes. I pulled my blue lighter from the box then shielded it back up. If mom found my stash, I'd be dead for sure.

When I stood up, my eyes found the mirror and my cheeks filled with heat. My eyes were red and bloodshot, a state they were almost always in nowadays, and make up was smeared around them. Quickly, I rubbed away the smeared black makeup and put more on in its place. Jason wasn't in to looks and perfection but I didn't want him thinking I was a slob, either.

I pushed my window up as far as it would go and stepped out into the cold, November weather. My window was less than four feet from the ground, facing the woods behind our house. It was super convenient and how mom never found out I ran away every night was beyond me.

My breath came out in a puff of white air and it made my fingers shake. Five minutes and I could light up, snort, and drink whatever I could get my hands on. Just five minutes.

My boots crunched the dead leaves and thin layer of snow as I walked, dodging trees in my path. I saw the red of his car before I saw the whole car itself. His car, a two-door Jeep, was very recognizable.

"Trouble with your mom again?" He asked as I got in the car.

"What do you think?" I took the pack of cigarettes from the cup holder and pulled one out.

He laughed and started driving, the car bumping with every hole we ran over.

I lit the cigarette and took a long pull from it, filling my lungs with toxins.

"What do you want to do tonight?" He asked, glancing over at me.

"Besides getting high? I don't know. I'm not really in the mood for much."

He frowned.

I pulled my knees up to my chest and continued burning through my cigarette.

Jason and I spent the rest of the drive in silence, staring out the windshield at the oncoming cars.

He parked in the driveway at his house and cut the engine. "Are you hungry? My dad's gonna be late so I can order us pizza."

I nodded and opened the car door. "I don't plan on going home for dinner. So pizza would be great."

A new story is like a breath of fresh air after being in a cloud of smoke for too long. I got inspired to write this in the middle of some other stories and I like it too much to give it up. So here it is! I hope you all like it so far!

If you have any stories you'd like me to read, let me know. I'm in the mood to read some good stuff and I haven't been able to find much. I'd like to stick with romance in the T-M range. Thanks!

Writerandreader.