Always, Yours

2 - Train Tracks and Hidden Butterfiles

warnings: fluff, mentions of therapy, mentions of bullies

***

Present Day

You sorted the notes by date, written in not so neat handwriting to a beautiful cursive as time progresses. You took out the first one, April 26th, 2004. You felt like you're massively betraying Tom's trust by reading another letter, but at this point, you're much too curious to turn back.

Y/N,

My therapist told me I needed to write letters to someone. First she said I should write them to myself, but when I did and she read them, she said they were too negative. She told me I needed to write them to someone I couldn't be negative towards. She said it's like keeping a journal, this little series of letters. She said to write when I was feeling frustrated or upset with myself. I tried writing to my parents, but then I was scared about how they'd react. To me, to how I feel. Then I remembered you. Well, I mean, I could never forget you. How could I? We do our homework together on the train tracks and try to catch butterflies every day until the sun goes down. You're my best friend. You have been, for like so long. I remembered one of the first things you said to me. Do you remember? Those words are like etched on my heart brain. "Crying is like letting go of the bad stuff to make room for good stuff." Except you said it with your stutter. The one you work with your speech therapist to get rid of. I didn't know it at the time that you agreed to be my friend because you also had no friends. I thought it was because you wanted to help a sad kid like me who got bullied for doing ballet. Either way, I was just feeling upset because when you were sick with the flu those boys kept pushing me into the locker. I think they're scared of you. My therapist said to write these as if you were reading over my shoulder. Like you do on the bus to school. Anyways, you're coming over for dinner tonight so my mum's trying to make a really fancy dinner, I don't know how to tell her you would prefer Mac and cheese and hot dogs. I'll see you soon.

Always,

Your best friend,

Tom

You closed your eyes, hoping maybe that will prevent the tears that threaten to spill. It doesn't. Especially when you think about the very first time you ever showed Tom those train tracks, and all of the days spent there afterward.

***

8 Years Old, March, 2004

Tom was crying, or he was trying really hard not to cry as you walked home from the bus stop.

"Hey, you k-k-know, if you told on them, they might s-s-s-stop," you said, taking Tom's hand and leading him down your driveway right past your house.

"Where are we going?" Tom sniffled.

"It's a secret, you haveta promise not to tell anyone," you said as you made your way through a small path in the woods behind your house.

"Will your mum and mom care?" Tom asked, hesitating for a moment.

"No, they helped me make this path down here, but they're not allowed to come down. It's special, just for me."

"Well then why are you taking me there?" Tom asked with wide eyes as you stop in front of where you were most excited to show him.

"Because, silly, you're my best friend. Okay, these train tracks have been here for all of time!" You let go of Tom's hand and bounded over to the train tracks, overgrown with flowers and grass, the winter snow all gone by now.

"All of time?" Tom laughed, stepping onto the tracks with you.

"Well, just since they invented train tracks, but I don't know when they invented train tracks. So I like to think they've been here forever."