Always, Yours

3 - Practice Kisses and Broken Promises

warnings: kissing, a little bit of angst

***

Present Day

Tom picked up one photo, one of his favorite, he was dressed up in his costume for the Sound of Music and you were holding a digital camera, the one that your mum bought for promoting the show.

'Tom and Me before Sound of Music! Break a leg Tommy'

It was the summer before freshman year. Tom was going to an all boys private school while you're stuck at your town's public high school next year. You're smiling without showing your teeth, because you have braces still, you had them since grade 6 and you hate them. Tom however, Tom loved your braces. He loved how you always chose blue elastic since it was his favorite color. He loved how after you got your braces tightened and they would pinch the inside of your mouth, you and him would go to the bakery together and get the fluffiest croissants because it was one of the only foods that didn't hurt.

He remembered buying you chapstick because the braces seemed to make your lips dry. And he remembered the first time he ever kissed you, and how awkward it was and how he's always wondered since then if you've gotten better at kissing, if he's gotten better at kissing even though he's only kissed three other girls, and really only as part of shows. Part of him is embarrassed for never kissing anyone else, for waiting for you and holding out some hope that you might love him back. But another part of him is upset that he never got himself out there while you're currently having sex with someone.

***

14 Years Old, 2010

"I'm scared," Tom mumbled, wiping the sweat from his upper brow as you walked along the train tracks, stopping when you found your initials carved into the wood.

"What are you scared about? You know all your lines, you've memorized the entire show," you turned around, sitting down on the wooden tracks.

"I'm scared about kissing Kendra."

"Why?" You sighed, find a sunflower to pick apart as Tom slumped onto the ground next to you.

"Because! She's a whole grade older than us!"

"So?" You whined as you twirled the sunflower between your fingers.

"So! She had a boyfriend last year, and I heard they've kissed."

You looked at Tom wearily, not sure where he is going with this, but you also couldn't help but wonder if he wanted your help. You had to push the idea aside, beside, Keaton told you that at each rehearsal, Tom and Kendra got closer and closer. You figured Tom developed a crush on Kendra, that's why he was so nervous.

"I've never kissed anyone," Tom mumbled, he didn't want to tell you, because even though you're his best friend, it felt awkward to tell you. Whether it was the stifling hot air outside, or the proximity of your leg next to his, Tom's throat seemed to close up as he spoke, making it harder for him to breathe.

"So, you just need to practice," you suggested, tossing the sunflower to the side.

"What if I kiss Kendra, you know, while we practice, and it's horrible? It's no good at all and she quits the show?"

You laughed at Tom's franticness, until you looked over at him, his bottom lip trembling. You realized your best friend was terrified at the prospect of kissing someone and being judged for it.

"So, uh, y-y-you could practice with s-someone else," you said, brushing some hair behind your ear, quickly looking away from him.

"Oh, well, nobody would want to practice with me, come on, don't be silly."