I miss him // Luke Hemmings

5- A Special Comment

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I was putting on my pants when the door violently opened. I screamed in shock. It was Luke.

But he was crying, and he didn't care. I quickly pulled my pants up. He walked in, hiccuping and sniffing.

"Luke? Are you okay?" I asked.

"No, Zoey... My m-mum, is in the hospital." He said, sitting next to me on my bed while I held him. I held him tight that morning for such a long time till I couldn't feel my toes.

He cried into my shirt for 45 minutes. I counted it because my neck was hurting from the uncomfortable posture I was in. He told me that his mum was a victim in a shooting that happened in a grocery store this morning. She was shot in the thigh.

I remember how much Luke loves his mum. When she had to be treated in the hospital for months, he was so sad.

"I feel lonely. I feel like the house is... haunted. My dad doesn't know anything. All i've had for lunch was scrambled eggs for the past week. I miss eating chicken and mum's special blue berry pie." Luke once said.

"It's okay, Luke. You have me, and you can have lunch with us anytime. Mum even told me to tell you you can sleep over whenever your dad's at the hospital." I lied, mum didn't tell me anything. But I was thirteen, and my mum was easily persuaded.

"Thank you so much, Zoe. Everything sucks these days, I swear I wouldn't know what I would do without you." Luke said.

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"Chase, can I ask you a question?" I asked.

"Do you communicate with Luke?"

"What?" Chase asked. We were in his room, trying to fall asleep.

"Do you still talk to Luke?"

"Not really. I mean, he's a busy guy. But he gives me a call once in a while... Why?"

"Do you think i'll ever see him again?"

•••

I couldn't sleep. I've been laying on this mattress for three hours, just turning from right to left and flipping the pillow to the cooler side over and over again until it was warm on both sides.

How could I sleep when my dad is probably undergoing a surgery right now?

How could I let myself rest when I could possibly never see my dad again?

I started thinking and I couldn't stop. The thoughts kept coming like a chain, forcing themselves into my brain... and I felt like oxygen couldn't reach my lungs whenever I inhaled, but what I felt wasn't true. Because here I am, alive and well, unfortunately.

The flashbacks of my childhood with Luke don't help at all. Even if I did have fun today, I feel sad. I feel like a sunflower in a rose field. I don't belong there— if I stay, i'll die. If I get picked, i'll also die. I just wished Luke was here with me. He would know what to say to make me feel better.

I heard my phone vibrate in the pocket of my pants that I wore the whole day. I got up from my bed, changed into my pajamas, I took my phone and opened it. I realize the last time I looked at my phone was when I had my conversation with mum.