Till I See You Again

PART SEVENTEEN

WARNING: This chapter talks about suicide, please read at your own risk, I really don't want to trigger people. I love every single one of you guys and if you're going through anything, remember you can always talk to me and things will always get better soon so never give up. Enjoy :)

Stiles's POV:

I held the cold black gun in my hand, it was so odd how peaceful it sat in my hands, the same sort of gun that had killed Derek was now sitting in my hand as peaceful as it could be.

"Remember I love you." Derek's words repeated in my head like a record player that was stuck on the same song.

"If you loved me, you wouldn't have left me!" I screamed at the top of my lungs as I slammed my hand on my bed, tears streaming down my eyes as they blurred my vision. "Y-You left me! I-I can't do this without you, I need you Derek. P-Please. I-I need you."

My phone buzzed, I lowered the gun to my side as I grabbed my phone. 'Stiles, can we talk?' I never responded back to Scott, I flipped my phone around and looked back down at the gun. "I'm sorry Derek, it is my fault. I would have rather it been me. I-I can't imagine a world that doesn't have you in it."

'Stiles, I know I shouldn't have lied about what happened with Derek.' I rolled my eyes as I read the second message that he sent, minutes after sending the first one. Again, I didn't respond.

"I-I don't know if you can hear me but I can't do this anymore. Everywhere I look, everything I do, all it does is remind me of you and I know I need to move on b-but I can't." I sobbed. "I can't do this anymore, I can't take the memories, the nightmares, the hollow feeling that is fucking eating me alive!"

I stood up and held the gun closer to my face as I ran my hands through my hair. "I should just do it before I get someone else killed." I took a deep breath as I cocked the gun back. "You can do this, Stiles, Scott is mad at you anyway, Dad is-who am I kidding, he's going to be devastated but that's how I've been feeling for three fucking weeks!" I grabbed my phone and called my Dad.

"Dad?" I asked as soon as I heard him answer the phone, I tried my best to keep my voice calm and steady

"Stiles, are you okay?" I shook my head as I swallowed.

"N-Never better, Dad. When are you coming home?" I looked at my watch.

"In four hours. Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, I'll see you then. I love you, Dad, so much." Before he could respond, I hung up the phone.

'Now, Stiles, now is the only chance you have. He won't be home for a while, he won't care anyway, remember? He's been too focused on his job than he has been on you. Just do it, Stiles.' I thought to myself before I threw the gun against the wall, accidentally setting it off, I dropped to the ground, grabbing my head as I screamed in agony, tears now falling freely from my eyes as I fell down to the floor, sobbing, letting everything out in tears.

I grabbed my phone and called Scott, he answered within seconds. "Scott?"

"Stiles, is everything okay?" I swallowed as I looked down at the ground.

"Scott, I need your help."