a reason for being | jung jaehyun

four

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝟎𝟒

-호기심 - 𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐲

🔎

"SO WHO IS THE NEW FRIEND YOU MADE?" jaehyun murmured as he walked into seonmi's room, eyes trained on the clipboard gripped finely between his fingertips. "i've never really seen you with anyone else like that before."

like that?

unknowingly, seonmi smiled to herself, clutching the bedsheets between her trembling fingers while a soft raspberry colored blush spread on her cheeks. she didn't know why she was blushing, though. perhaps, from excitement of making a new friend.

"hey..did you hear me?" the doctor said, a bit more sternly than usual. "why are you smiling?"

seonmi averted her gaze to the man standing a few feet away from her. she was sitting beside the large glass window wall, previously staring downstairs at the courtyard where the grand rose bushes could be seen from high above. "his name is hendery."

"hendery? i've never seen him.. or heard of him."

"he got admitted yesterday. he has cystic fibrosis.. severe, just like me." although jaehyun was supposed to feel sympathetic for his situation, finding out this news only made his heart drop. something about seonmi making a new friend with the same disease as her didn't make him feel right.

"why do you keep smiling?" jaehyun sighed, walking closer to the girl. "we have to do an airway clearance again today."

the girl frowned to herself. "i hate doing it... it's so embarrassing. and it hurts too."

"i'm sorry. i'll give you some pain killers, afterwards. i want to do another x-ray as well. just to observe your lungs and see if the infections are still bad. we don't want you to get pneumonia again."

jaehyun gestured for seonmi to follow him. she stood up, obliging, and as she reached over to drag her oxygen stand, jaehyun had gripped it instead, rolling it along with them as they walked. from behind, seonmi smiled to herself at his act of kindness. "thank you," she whispered.

inside the operating room, jaehyun helped seonmi lay down on the bed, carefully studying her expressionless face. he knew fully that she was covering up her nervousness. her hands that were tightly holding his as he helped her sit quivered in his warm touch.

"you'll be okay," the man assured quietly, smiling down at her. "this isn't your first time."

"i know.. i still hate it," seonmi pouted, tightly holding his hand while avoiding eye contact.

she absolutely hated having jaehyun clear her airways, hated laying down in such a vulnerable position. as a cystic fibrosis patient, all the mucus produced in her lungs had to be disposed orally, but she still felt ashamed having to spit mucus out in front of people, especially jaehyun. there was nothing flattering about it in any way.

seonmi shakily put her hands behind her head as she attempted to gather her hair into a ponytail, but her excessive shaking made it nearly impossible. "here. let me help you with it," the doctor offered, chuckling to himself at seeing seonmi poorly attempt to tie up her own hair. he ran his fingers through her hair gently, gathering it all between his fingers before tying it slowly. she stiffened at the simple gesture.

"ready?" jaehyun asked kindly. no response. "seonnie, please don't feel embarrassed, okay? i'm not going to judge you. i never have, and i never will."

at this, seonnie nodded, and jaehyun proceeded to rhythmically press his palms against her back with force, not too hard, though not too soft. by doing so, the mucus in seonnie's lungs would loosen up, helping her spit everything out. the doctor continued hitting her back for about 3 more minutes before seonmi spat in a cup, cheeks flushed as she turned her face away from him.

they continued this for nearly half an hour. disposing of mucus was a tedious, time consuming process, and it made seonmi feel like a burden. she hated to take up jaehyun's time like this, she hated him seeing her in a state like that, sprawled out across a bed and coughing up fluids. but, it was his job. he couldn't hate her for it.

"you did great as usual," the doctor grinned, taking her hand and helping her up. her gaze was on the ground, avoiding looking at him. jaehyun took notice of the red flush on her cheeks and smiled to himself. "you're embarrassed."

"yes! i don't want you to see me doing that," she murmured.

"seonnie, i really don't find it bad. we've been clearing your airways for years.. you have to keep your lungs clear, otherwise you'll suffocate."

the girl kept quiet, making her way towards the door so she could go to the cafeteria. she knew he was right, but couldn't help her embarrassment anyways. the doctor followed her silently, lost in his thoughts as he tried to figure her out.

"don't you have other patients to treat?" seonmi frowned, unintentionally giving him attitude as she saw the tall man walking beside her.

"i'm supposed to be treating you right now," jaehyun calmly murmured, looking down at her with a blunt expression. "my other patients are with caregivers."

other patients. even though she already knew that he took care of other people, seonmi's chest began to ache. she'd wished he would spend more time around her. looking away, she noticed hendery standing by himself, piling an array of foods onto his tray.

seonmi grinned widely and strode away from jaehyun's side without saying 'bye' to meet up with her new friend, leaving the doctor standing in the crowd with a small frown.