a reason for being | jung jaehyun

eight

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝟎𝟖

- 위상 지연 - 𝐥𝐚𝐠 𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐬𝐞

🌊

"YOU LOOK DOWN TODAY SEONMI.."

seonmi was sitting in her hospital bed, sapphire journal opened to an empty page in her lap as she silently sat in contemplation. yesterdays events replayed in her mind, and it gave her an ounce of motivation to write something— maybe a solemn, gloomy poem, or anything along those lines, but whenever she would tremulously grip the pen in between her fingers, preparing to write on the page, she'd lose hope. knowing that jaehyun was feeling guilty for her bandaged hand made her excessively ill at ease. it didn't help that the sky was a solitary shade of grey, and that the rain resumed its burdening downpour.

hendery was a few feet away, sitting near the window with eyes watching seonmi before he looked up to the television. seonmi wasn't sure why he was watching tv, though. there were never interesting programs on at the hospital, and the loud noises of tv static camouflaged over whatever was on.

looking over again to the girl in bed, hendery smiled in hopes to cheer her up, but quickly it faded upon noticing the white bandages that wrapped tightly around her right hand. "seonmi! what happened?"

she was reluctant to answer at first. she almost didn't want to, and her train of thought got interrupted while debating over whether what to say to him. she shook her head and faked a smile. "i ju—"

"mok seonmi! i'm sorry i haven't been here!" the door opened, revealing short and stout mrs.cheon, whose gray hair was gathered into poor attempt at a braid. she had a plastic bag in her hand that looked much too heavy for the delicate woman to hold. hendery instinctively stood up and reached to help her, and the elderly woman almost jumped. hendery bowed apologetically, almost laughing to himself at her incited confusion.

"my name is hendery. i'm seonmi's friend. nice to meet you, mrs," the boy politely smiled, once again bowing his head. mrs. cheon glanced over to seonmi, who was covering her lips with her bandaged hand to suppress her laughter.

"seonmi! what did you do to your hand!" mrs. cheon gasped, hurriedly approaching the bed and taking the bandaged hand gently in her palm. 

"i just spilled some tea on myself. its okay," she reassured, feigning a smile not only to put the two concerned people at ease, but also to cover up her desolate mood. 

"hot enough to require bandages?" the elderly woman gasped, a little too loudly, before gently grabbing the hand frantically speaking, "i'm so sorry, i should've been here to watch you these last few days, but my grandchildren-"

"mrs. cheon," seonmi chuckled quietly, holding her hands out in front of her to calm the woman to calm down. "i've been doing fine these past couple of days. this was a simple mistake. don't worry about it too much, okay?"

the elderly woman brushed a few loose strands of coarse silver hair behind her ear before letting out a shaky breath. "okay.. tell me if you're in pain."

"yeah," seonmi smiled.

⁀➷

the next day, a majority of the time spent between mrs. cheon and seonmi was tranquil and quiet. hendery had a busy schedule, leaving seonmi and the elderly woman alone for that thursday. the heavy downpour of rain had eased into a moderate drizzle, with the ghastly winds blowing the water down at a harsh angle. seonmi looked up from her blue journal to the old woman that sat beside her, engaged deeply in a paperback of sudoku puzzles. 

smiling, the girl croaked, "mrs. cheon, is it okay if i go down to the cafeteria?"

mrs. cheon made a noise of approval before suddenly standing. "i'll go with you. i don't want you hurting yourself."

shaking her hands, seonmi rejected the help. "i'll be okay. you get some rest.."

"it should be me telling you that," the elderly woman huffed, sitting back down in her chair with the sudoku pamphlet in her lap.

seonmi wandered the deserted corridors of the ninth floor, and as she neared hendery's room, curiosity took over her thoughts. i wonder if he finished his airway clearance yet.

ah, i'll catch him some other time. i shouldn't be around another cystic fibrosis patient too much, anyways. 

when she got to the cafeteria, seonmi's eyes couldn't help but wander, whether it was out of  unwilled precaution or simple curiosity. in all honestly, she didn't come downstairs to grab something to eat, but rather to find jaehyun and spend time with him. she'd missed the friendly, non-awkward atmosphere that he brought along with him whenever they talked, especially after yesterday.

no luck. he wasn't downstairs.

seonmi sulked all the way back to the ninth floor, where she kept her eyes fixed on the white-tiled flooring. she was about to pass by hendery's door once again, and a smile spread on her lips, but soon faded when jaehyun walked out of the room, eyes immediately landing on her the moment he entered the hallway.

his face became stoic, and she knew that expression all too well. it was the face he made when he got scolded by another doctor the day seonmi got admitted into the hospital. somehow, the remembrance of that day combined with the longing she felt for jaehyun's presence churned her stomach.

"jaehyun-" she started.

"good evening, seonmi," he nodded. "i hope your hand is well?" 

his tone was too formal, too distant compared to how he usually talked, and it made the hairs on seonmi's skin stand up.

"yes but.. can we talk?" seonmi looked up at his towering height, eyes basically pleading for him to agree.

"hmm." he averted his eyes to the ground. "maybe some other time. i have somewhere to be right now."

"n-no you don't!" seonmi raised her voice slightly, causing the doctor to slightly widen his eyes in shock. "jaehyun, you never tell the truth when you look down. i know it."

jaehyun simply stared down at her, eyes studying her fingers that clutched tightly around the oxygen stand. he just couldn't give the opportunity up. 

he smiled, and there wasn't a hint of pretense in it at all. "okay, seonnie."