Tamquam Alter Idem

Pulled Teeth and Pineapple Juice

"What are you doing on March 16th?" Adam asked as soon as Riah picked up the phone.

Riah didn't wait to think before saying "you" because, like Hell did he know what he'd be doing on a specific day six weeks in the future, and because that answer was a safe bet. He did know that day would be during Adam's spring break. Those dates were burned into his brain.

"Ha," Adam replied, unamused. "Seriously, do you have any plans? I need to know if you're free that day."

Ronan consulted his appointment book, which didn't take very long— given that it didn't exist. "I'm free. Why?"

"I'm getting my wisdom teeth removed and I need to know if you can drive me."

Riah was, admittedly, getting better at conversations with words like student loans and policy renewal and emotional awareness. But that didn't mean it was fair of Adam to ambush him with adulthood.

"Huh?"

"I'm having surgery," Adam said, sounding annoyed about having to repeat himself.

Except that wasn't a repetition, that was an entirely new and terrifying way of putting it. Riah still hadn't processed the words wisdom teeth, so now he got to be simultaneously confused and worried. Adam kept talking.

"I'm going to need a ride, and then I'll be laid up for a few days afterward."

"You're planning a really wild spring break, yeah?"

"I don't want to schedule it during break," Adam said softly, "but I can't afford to miss those days during the school year."

"But you can afford to worry about it six weeks ahead of time?"

"If I don't schedule it soon, the surgeon will book up and I'll have to wait until summer. I've already put it off longer than I should have. I just— I need to know you can drive me. I won't be able to drive myself after." The line went completely silent for a moment. Then, "I won't be able to take care of myself after."

Oh. That was what Adam needed six weeks to prepare for. Not finding a ride— being dependent on someone else.

"Relax, Parrish. I will make the huge sacrifice of driving somewhere in a car with you," Riah said, like that wasn't already how they spent half their time together. "I'm definitely not going to miss all the stupid shit you do when you're high."

"Perfect," Adam deadpanned. "I can't wait."

⁂

- are they impacted

Adam's reply appeared on his phone screen less than a minute later.

- Are what impacted by what?

- your bonus teeth
- the shitty ones theyre yanking out of your head

- Yes, Zachariah. My wisdom teeth are impacted.
- That's why I'm paying someone to "yank them out of my head".

- wait
- insurance doesn't cover it
- what is your crappy school even good for

Adam's annoyance was tangible through the digital screen.

- Jesus, Zachariah. It was a figure of speech.
- Yes, it's covered.
- They hurt, and they're a health hazard. It's not like it's a cosmetic procedure

- you never said they hurt

- It's almost like jaw pain isn't very fun and I don't want to dwell on it.
- I should've gotten them removed years ago. But I didn't have insurance in high school.