Autumn's Fire

Autumn's Fire: Chapter 16

Just as the chill from the coming of the changing of seasons swept through Ennis, so too a chill seemed to sweep through our relationship. For an entire week, I only saw Chriol once, and with no explanation from him, I was left to assume that he was simply busy with work. I felt that I had no right to intrude on him while he was so busy, so I never bothered to go visit him. But the fact that I hadn't seen him silently ate away at me, and I often found myself staring out the window at the shop, waiting for him to come walking down the road. Mum and Dad seemed to take notice of this, but didn't say anything, likely wanting to respect my privacy.

Just when I thought my brain was going to lose itself in despair and worry, though, I spotted Chriol on Sunday as I was walking towards the willow. He was down the road with his back to me, and I hastened my pace, ready to run up and surprise him with a hug. But as I grew closer, he turned to the side to begin walking, and it became clear that he was already with someone. I slowed down, to try to see who it was, and my pace was brought to a halt as I realized that it was Thali; of all people for it to be, it was Thali. My chest began to burn with jealousy as I watched them laughing and walking without a care in the world.

This wasn't right, this wasn't how it was supposed to be. I didn't understand why he would be with her, let alone why he would be laughing with her. My heart began to race, feeling like it was trying to jump out my throat, and the world seemed to spin faster with each passing second. Just as I felt I couldn't remain stable anymore, I realized I still stood in the middle of the road, open to being seen at any moment. I was only a few paces away from the tree, so I scurried up the hill towards it. Once at the top of the hill, I scrambled up the tree trunk and nestled myself among the branches as I struggled to control my reeling mind and heart. I first tried to clear my mind, slowing my breathing as I struggled to calm my thoughts. But I couldn't stop my mind from flashing up images of them together and what they could have been doing together. In the end, no matter how I fought, the panic won, and I dissolved into a puddle of quiet sobs as the panic rushed through me.

Eventually, the panic had passed over me, and my brain began to think of rationalizations. Maybe he was smoothing things out between me and Thali? I thought at first, but I quickly discarded this theory as it wouldn't make much sense to soothe things over between two people with only one person there. Maybe he was just walking her home. This thought made even less sense as at the time that I had seen them, they were walking towards downtown, away from her house. Maybe Thali forgave me, and decided to play nice? This seemed the most likely, and as soon as the thought occurred to me, I felt guilty for jumping to other conclusions that villainized her. So, with this is my head, and feeling more at ease, I relaxed into the tree and began reading my book.

Several hours later, late in the afternoon, I heard Chriol calling my name from the base of the tree. Happy and relieved to see him, I immediately climbed down and wrapped him into a hug. He chuckled and hugged me back gently, giving me a squeeze before leaning back to look at me. "Sorry I've been so busy this week. How have you been?" he asked, absentmindedly playing with my hair.

I smiled half-heartedly. "It's okay, I just missed you," I responded, and just then, the jealousy flared within me again. I couldn't help but ask, and the words left my lips before my mind had realized they'd been formed. "I saw you with Thali today. What was that about?"

Chriol leaned back further in surprise. "Oh, I went to talk with her the other day about you guys making up, and we became friends. She is willing to work on things with you by the way," he explained, but I couldn't help but be a little suspicious.

"You...You don't like her, right? Like you'd still rather be with me?" I asked nervously, knowing deep down that giving into jealousy was never a good idea.