A Lifetime of Whiskey

Chapter 4

Lim arrived at the hospital the next day. It was a Saturday, so she wasn't officially working. She knocked on the door to signal her arrival and entered Neil's hospital room, "Hey," she smiled softly. "Hi," Neil smiled back. "Are your parents and sister coming by today?" asked Lim. "Yes, but that have to wait until 9 AM to sign out Gabi, so we have a few hours of alone time," said Melendez. "Okay," Lim nodded. "You can have a seat if you'd like?" said Melendez, gesturing towards the chair in his room. "We should probably get you sitting up and walking some today so you don't end up with blood clots on top of everything else," said Lim. "Mom and Petringa already forced me to take a walk around the ICU yesterday evening; they've got you covered," said Melendez. "Good," Audrey said and smiled, "I don't need to lose you again," she whispered softly. Melendez knew that his incident had scared her, but she was too bull-headed to admit she was hurting. Melendez grabbed her hand and asked, "Audrey, what's wrong?" "Just a little nervous about the surgery, that's all," she answered. Melendez knew that answer was only half of the truth, "Aud, that's not the whole truth and you know it." Lim sighed and said, "I just feel so alone. I have no one to take care of me after surgery and we can't schedule it until I do." "Well, what about your mom or your brother?" asked Melendez. "Josh is busy with his life in Dallas and Mom and I aren't close enough for me to just disrupt her life like that. And Laura has Everly; she can't care for both of us. You cared for me as I was recovering from the virus, but now, I can't even care for you." Melendez squeezed Lim's hand and said, "I'm sure you'll find someone soon." Lim took a deep breath and said, "You scared me, you know?" "I know," responded Melendez. Lim wanted to say so badly how she felt about him, but she couldn't say the three actual words, so she said, "You're the most important part of my life and the idea of you not being around wasn't okay with me." "Where have I heard that line before?" Melendez joked. "We can't keep doing this, Neil. We can't keep almost dying to realize how we really feel about each other," Melendez smiled at her softly, "I was stupid." "You're not stupid, Audrey," said Melendez. "I was stupid," said Lim, "I thought being Chief of Surgery is what matted most in life. I pushed away everyone in my life to achieve that dream. I lost Kashal, I lost my mom, I lost Josh, I've lost Laura, and I almost lost you. And it's because I pushed everyone away. And now, I don't have anyone here for me when I need them because I've burnt all of those bridges." "Hey, come here," Melendez held out his arms and wrapped Lim in a loving embrace, "You're not alone; you'll always have me."*** A few hours later, Melendez's family arrived. They brought in some balloons and flower baskets and Gabi presented him with a stuffed 'Get Well Soon' bear from the hospital gift shop, "He looks like Brownie," she said happily. Melendez smiled and kissed her cheek, "Gracias Gabi." Mateo came over to his bedside and said, "We also contacted most the familia, but we told them to wait until after the transplant to come and visit you. We figured you needed the rest." "Well, I look forward to seeing everyone. It's a shame it has to be in these circumstances," said Melendez. "Believe me, it took all we could to get your Abuelita to stay home," said Maria. "Well, it is probably better for Neil to rest right now. He's had a long week," said Lim, coming up beside Maria. All of them spent some more time talking when Mateo dismissed himself to go to the cafeteria with Gabi for lunch. Melendez nodded towards Maria and Maria asked, "Audrey, would you take a walk with me? I wanted to ask you something." "Um, sure," said Lim. Maria and Audrey started walking and Maria asked, "Which floor is the chapel?" "Here, I'll take you to it; it's on the fourth floor," said Lim. They arrived at the chapel and Lim said, "I'll leave you alone." "That's okay, dear. In fact, I wanted to talk with you," said Maria. "With all due respect, Maria, I don't have much connection with Christianity and Catholicism," said Lim. "Oh, it's not about that, Audrey," said Maria, "I just always find areas of worship peaceful," Lim sat down next to Maria in one of the pews and Maria said, "Neil mentioned to me you have no one to care for you after your surgery?" Lim sighed, but shook her head, "No, I don't. My family isn't as close as you all are. I was hoping maybe my friend would be willing to care for me for a few weeks until I'm stable enough to care for myself." "Audrey," said Maria, grabbing her hand, "This is a major surgery you're undergoing. You need someone to help you, both physically and emotionally. Mateo and I would be honored to take care of you after the surgery." "But...but..." Lim stuttered, "Maria, I broke up with Neil months ago." "I know you did, and he was very heartbroken," admitted Maria, "But you're still family, Audrey." "I'm not your family..." "Nonsense. You're saving my son's life. And you still love him," said Maria. "He's my best friend..." Lim began. "And being married to your best friend is the best kind of marriage you can have," said Maria, "But you're scared." "How do you know?" asked Lim. "Because I was in your position once," said Maria, "Shortly after Mateo and I married, we moved to the US from Mexico, a few years before Neil was born. It was a huge culture shock: a different language, different traditions, and it was tough trying to balance preserving our heritage and assimilating into American culture. I was so scared and thought I couldn't be the wife Mateo needed, thinking I would be better off going back to Monterrey. The only reason I didn't divorce him is because I believed it would be a sin if I did." "I can relate. It was a huge adjustment when I moved to San Francisco from Taipei, Taiwan," said Lim, "Dad knew English for business reasons and Mom knew the basics, but we spoke Mandarin at home. Once a week, I would be crying because I wanted to go back home." Maria nodded in understanding, "Anyways, the point I'm trying to make is that sometimes the things that turn out to be our greatest blessings start out as our biggest fears. I know you and Neil aren't currently together, but you've been his best friend for many years and you're giving him a part of you without a second thought. If that isn't true love, then I don't know what is," said Maria. "Well, where would I stay? I know Neil only has two bedrooms, his room and the guest room, and you and Mateo would need the guest room," said Lim. Maria smiled with a twinkle in her eye, "It would be easier for me and Mateo if both of our patients were in the same room." Lim smiled and hugged Maria, "Thank you," she said gratefully. "You'll always be a part of our familia, Audrey." *** Melendez's family left later that evening, leaving Neil and Audrey alone. They were both watching reruns of The Big Bang Theory when Lim asked, "So how did you convince your mom to take care of me?" "How did you know it was me?" asked Melendez. "Neil," Lim said. "I explained to her that your family is too far to get here in time. She then volunteered to take care of the both of us," said Melendez. Audrey smiled and went back to the show, "Audrey?" she looked over at him, "You're comfortable with this arrangement right?" "Yes," said Lim, "It's not that, it's just..." Melendez turned off the TV and faced her, giving her his full attention, "Audrey," he took both of her hands in his, "Please tell me what's bothering you?" Lim smiled and said, "I still love you." "I know," said Melendez, "That's all you were worried about saying?" "Yes," she chuckled. "Audrey," Melendez laughed, "I knew you still loved me. You were just afraid of getting hurt again." "Your mother told me the exact same thing," said Lim. "Well, I learn from the best," Melendez said and smiled. "I want to make it work again so badly, but I don't know how," Lim admitted. "Tell you what, Audrey? Let's worry about the surgeries first, and then, once we've recovered, we navigate our relationship again. But we have to talk, really talk, and not just scream at each other." "I know," said Lim, "And maybe we do need checks and balances. I'm not saying you should go to Glassman, but maybe I can get other points of view from him and Andrews if I'm overly invested in a surgery. But we both need to realize we're human. We'll make decisions, sometimes they'll have great outcomes, and sometimes, they won't. But I promise you, Neil, my overestimation of you is because, over all of the years I've known you, you've proved yourself to be a great surgeon." "Well, I've only becoming one from competing with the best," he smiled.