HEAT • Chanrosé

twenty one

Flawless.

The entire service had been flawless.

There had been no mistakes. Every piece of meat or fish was cooked not a second over or under done. Every drop of oil or dash of salt was perfect. There wasn't too much or not enough of one ingredient. The timing of each station could never be recreated. Chanyeol called orders and they would respond firmly back, working in silence. Only the sounds of their art could be heard. He never sent anything back, or barked out insults. There was simple nothing for him to scold. Everything had come together.

And yet, her life had fallen apart.

Chaeyoung didn't care what happened after she left the kitchen. She didn't care if they fought more or what words were exchanged. All she needed was to put herself back together for just tonight, just to get this service over with. Only then could she actually feel her damage. They still had a job to finish. And whatever happened after tonight didn't matter. Everything was out. There was no more bomb or secrets, but not without a price.

She had to hear someone who she thought of as a best friend call her a slut. She had confessed in front of everyone how she felt about Chanyeol, feeling so in love that honestly didn't know how to bare without it now. She had watched her boys fight, her past year disappear in front of her eyes.

There were no super glue smiles left in her anymore. Chaeyoung wouldn't be able to fix this wreckage.

She stayed up on the roof until the restaurant opened, Sehun being the one to come get her. He drilled into her mind that she didn't have to be here, that they could work it out and cover for her. They had already picked up the slack for prep, allowing her more time but Chaeyoung refused. She was done hiding. Even if they meant cooking alongside the man she loved and the man that had just stabbed her in the heart with his words.

Making her way down to the kitchen, Chaeyoung expected to feel pure disgust. The same that had caused her to feel sick after hearing the word slut from Jungkook's mouth. But when she entered, it was nothing but numbness. Her eyes refused to meet anyone else's', focusing only on her knife and those initials. It was the only thing that kept her from feeling so alone, despite being surrounded by the men in her life. Times like these was when she missed her father the most. Chaeyoung wondered what he would do, what he would say about this cluster of a mess.

Jungkook tried to take steps to her, his face bruised and cuts closed with butterfly bandages, only to be stopped by Sehun before he could even open his mouth. She didn't want to talk to him, not now. There was nothing to be said.

Junhoe seemed as if he didn't want to be near to the youngest, not even in the slightest. He was no longer on his normal station, being switched with Sehun and now beside her on the other side of the kitchen. He was so quiet, too quiet with his expression as flat as she had ever seen it. His face had no marks. Jungkook hadn't been able to fight back once Junhoe had thrown his own punch and boarded him against the wall. Sehun was quick enough to pull them apart, not giving Jungkook the chance.

Neither her or Junhoe said anything as they began. No one did.

Chaeyoung couldn't get herself to lift her eyes away from the flicker flames of the burner or the popping oil on her steel pan when Chanyeol finally walked into the kitchen. When he spoke, it was with its same authority. Like nothing had happened. This was Chef Park. But her Chanyeol was there. Still. She saw it in his eyes when he made her look at him before the fight, she heard it in his tone when he argued with Jungkook. There was hope, but it was evaporating little by little with each rise of the temperature as they continued service.

When the last dish left the kitchen, everything stopped. There was nothing left for her mind to concentrate on, leaving her in the same suffocation. Chaeyoung used to laugh off that cliche saying, that if you can stand the heat to get out of the kitchen. Though now, she understood. It was filling her lungs and her heart to a point that she couldn't take it anymore. They still had clean up and after leaving prep to Junhoe and Sehun, it wouldn't be fair. But after months of living off the feeling, feeding off of it, Chaeyoung couldn't anymore. It was no longer the same.