The Way It Used to Be

40

Author's Note:
The next few chapters have existed in my mind before the book was ever started.  If the quote at the top isn't telling enough... Team Colton, rejoice. The time is coming. ;)
Pretty, pretty please with sugar on top comment and vote so I know what y'all think!
Xx

March ended and April began. The flowers in the yard bloomed, and the wildflowers in the field came to life with bursts of color. Everything around me was climbing for the sun, reaching for light, and learning to live again after winter.

April brought the first true family holiday without Aunt Verne, and while I wanted to stay in bed all day and wallow, the boys and I had our version of a family dinner.

We weaved together what seemed like an impossible life without her. I was doing better, but I wasn't the same. I wondered if I'd ever be the same. I felt like I was floating through life. Seeing life through a foggy lens. It was my life, but it was distorted.

In late April, it was warmer than usual. The air was hot, approaching 80 degrees most days. We opened the windows in the house, trying soak up every last minute of spring before it was so hot we had to turn on the air conditioner. I slept in tank tops and panties with the sheets kicked off my legs. Jack and Colton took turns sleeping in the guest room down the hall, but we rarely crossed paths at night.

Jack was my constant, charming laugh. He was the same old Jack. On the nights he stayed, we fell asleep together watching old movies or reruns of old TV shows. He was always close by, cracking jokes or telling stories. His bear hugs were just as warm and comforting, and I was genuinely happy that Anna made him happy.

Colton stayed during the week. There were a lot of nights Jack stayed, too, but he slept on the couch during those nights while Colton took the guest room. I wondered at times why they didn't just go home, but I knew they wouldn't leave me until I seemed back to normal... whatever normal was.

Colt never stayed on the weekends. I knew he went to Jamie's house for the weekend, and I couldn't fathom why she was okay with him staying at my house four nights out of the week and her house only three. He made an effort not to mention anything about her, and I didn't ask. We lived in the same house, but we only spoke in small talk. Occasionally, he would mention some memory. "Do you remember when we..." and I caught small snippets of the past in the pieces of those conversations. He'd quit calling me "baby" accidentally, quit hugging me for longer than he should, and quit sleeping in my bed until I fell asleep.

He did peak into my room any time he walked by, and I had seen him lean on my door frame and stare at me many nights when he thought I was sleeping. Jack told me that he still talked about me a lot when they were alone, but I found that hard to believe. It seemed, to me, that we had finally reached the point of no return. We had both found a way to live and exist in a world with the other without constantly fighting feelings for each other.