I'm used to the dark. It's what I've been surrounded with for more than a week now, ever since I was released from the hospital. They say one of the best things for a concussion, is darkness, especially for the first little bit. So, here I am, just laying on my bed, in the pitch black, letting the walls swallow me up, as I seem to be doing a lot, these days.
Everyone around me is trying to act normal. Happier than normal, actually. My mom and dad have done nothing but smile and speak to me in gentle and slow tones since I've come home. But even through their smiles, I can see the uncertainty. Nobody knows what to do now, especially me.
Uncertainty is my weakness. Always has been. I need to know things. I need plans. I need control. Without it, I don't know who the hell I am.
—
I feel the walls swallowing me again as I struggle to catch my breath. Quickly, I turn on some music to stop my head-buzz. It's the one thing I'm allowed to do.
The first song that comes on , is Stand by Me by Oasis.
When I hear the opening chords of the song, I freeze up. My jaw gets tight, sweat pouring down my face, but I'm so cold that I can't stop shaking.
This was his favourite.
Taylor, he used to play this song all the time on his guitar. Especially when I felt like this.
I'd lay here letting the walls swallow me, and he'd stand at my bedroom door , strumming lightly, singing until I could breathe again.
I'd always swear at him under my breath and hope he'd just go away. He never did, though. No matter what I said, he'd always come back.
I think he always knew, it wasn't him I was angry at.
—
As the song progresses, the more angry I get. I realize that I am actually mad at Taylor. Mad as hell.
He said he'd always be here, but where is he now?
And suddenly, his voice is all I can hear. So, abandoning all of my remaining sanity , I yell up toward the ceiling.
"Where are you?"
As if he can hear me.
As if there's a reason, for all this. An answer to my question.
Because I need a damn answer.
YOU ARE READING
Remembering Taylor Mason (Rewritten, 2020)
Fiksi RemajaSeventeen year old Taylor Mason loses his life one seemingly perfect summer day , leaving his best friends, Liam and Samara to have a very turbulent start to their summer *Not to contradict any stories previously made*. Trigger warning: deals...
