Wow.

Chapter 16: My past

"I did not believe that it would end, no

Everything came second to the Benzo

You're not even speaking to my friends, no

You knew all my uncles and my aunts though

Twenty candles, blow 'em out and open your eyes

We were looking forward to the rest of our lives

Used to keep my picture posted by your bedside

Now it's in your dresser with the socks you don't like

And I'm rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin'

With my brothers like it's Jonas, Jonas

Drinkin' Henney and I'm tryna forget

But I can't get this shit outta my head"

We were singing and laughing on the way to get gelato. "Wow you really do love that song you didn't miss a word. I'm impressed most people mess up" "Well I made sure I listen to that song on repeat after my last break up" I told him. I didn't really talk much about my last relationship. It was my first serious relationship and my heart got shattered into a million pieces when Dakota told me he was leaving me to marry his high school girlfriend who he had recently reconnected with. I'm not the type of person to stop my boyfriends from being friends with certain people. But after that it took me a while to get over him. It sent me to a very dark place I did not talk to many people about and the only thing that saved me from ending my life was listening to Post Malone when I had those dark thoughts. I owed a huge thank you to Austin honestly. " Oh dang you must have gotten pretty hurt to know all the words to all my songs" Austin said as he put the car in park. " Yeah it was a pretty rough time in my life and listening to your music just made me forget about everything bad happening in my life so I actually owe you a huge thank you because without it, I probably would not be here today." "Oh shit you're so welcome! People like you are the reason I do what I do and love every moment of it. It makes me so glad to know I can help a person out in such a huge way even if it is just with one simple song." He said and I just smiled. "Well you ready to go in?" "Yeah I just don't know what kind I'm gonna get they have so many flavors!" I ended up getting salted caramel and Austin got cookie dough. We took our gelato outside and ate it at one of the tables there. "So if you're okay talking about it, I'd love to know more about what exactly went wrong with your last relationship that cause you to go to dark places" He said. "Oh yeah I am completely over it now, all that happened my 2nd year in college after we had been dating for 3 years. My therapist said its helpful for me to talk about it and be honest about it." If this was 2 years ago, I would have immediately shut down and became depressed again but now I can talk about it like it never even happened. " So his name was Dakota. He had just moved to my high school our senior year and I had to be the person to show him around the school so we spent his first full week there together every day and we just kinda bonded over stuff. He became my second best friend next to Parker and then one day he told me he had feelings for me since the second he saw me and I felt the same way. So we dated the rest of the year and we both decided to attend the same college so we could stay together but in our sophomore year he became very distant from me. He started going to more parties and eventually was introduced to drugs. I didn't let that stop us from dating though but one day he got offered a job back home in North Carolina. I didn't want to let that stop us from being together so we tried to make the long distance work but eventually he was reconnected with his ex from high school. He decided that the long distance was too hard on us and it was causing him to lose his love for me. I can't lie hearing him say that shattered my heart because he was my first love and I thought we were endgame but he had other plans. He told me he had fallen back in love with his ex and he wanted to marry her. So he broke up with me, got married, and started a family with her all while I was at rockbottom. I refused to see my friends, to eat, or even leave my bed and thats when I found your music. Ever since then I refused to let myself get that way ever again and I swore to myself if I ever got the chance to see you in concert I would not pass that up because I felt like I owed you the biggest thank you of my life. So when you sent that message to me on Instagram, I just cried because you didn't know how happy you made me." Austin was just looking at me like I was the only person in the world that mattered to him. He had let his gelato melt while I let some tears fall from my face. " Holy shit Rose. I am so sorry. That is such an awful thing that could happen to someone. I am so glad I could help you." I could hear Austin's voice crack like he was going to cry. Honestly I wanted to run in his arms and cry but I just sat there watching him shake his head. " Can I please give you a hug?" he said "Please?" I replied as he came running to me. God I needed that.