Never/Forever (An Interactive Novel) by Jahric Lago

Episode 1: The Beginning

Episode 1: The Beginning

"Tagay pa!" sigaw ng pinsan kong si Charity. "Mga bwakanang ina ng mga lalaking 'yan!"

Nasa loob kami ng isang bar sa Maynila. Ramdam mong dumadaguntong ang sahig sa sobrang lakas ng party music na akala mo'y may lindol. Naglalaro din ang mga mata ko sa iba't ibang makukulay sa ilaw na parang mga Christmas lights na kutitap nang kutitap. Nakatayo kami ngayon at nakapaikot sa isang cocktail table na may isang bucket ng beer at sisig para sa pulutan. Nasa harapan ko ngayon ang aking mga pinsan, sina Charity Balagtas at Diosdado Balagtas. Nandito sila para iligtas ako . . . iligtas ako sa kalungkutang hatid ng sawing puso na kahit gaano pa kadilim at kasaya ang paligid ay hindi pa rin nito maitago ang lungkot sa aking mukha at mga luha sa aking mga mata.

"Isang linggo na ang nakalilipas pero hindi ko pa rin makalimutan si Albert. Tama bang nakipaghiwalay ako sa kaniya kahit na mahal ko pa siya?" I said as I chugged my cold beer, spilling a little on my black shirt.

"Oo, tama lang na hiniwalayan mo na 'yong hayop na 'yon! At kung mahal ka talaga niya, dapat nandito siya ngayon. Hindi ka aso, 'wag kang maghabol sa walang kuwentang lalaking 'yon!" iritang sambit ni Charity sabay subo ng pulutan.

"Cous, stop crying." Dio patted my back. "You can get through this. And like me, you'll find the man of your dreams. Ikaw kaya ang pinsan kong si Ricky Lagdameo. Matalino, malakas, pogi . . . sexy! At kahit isa kang Lagdameo, nananalaytay rin ang dugong Balagtas sa 'yo! Mga palaban tayo!"

I giggled a little. "Stop it, Diosdado! Nang-uto ka pa."

"Maka-Diosdado naman! Dio lang. Kaloka, Cous!"

Charity and I laughed.

"Pero totoo naman ang sinasabi ni Dio, mga Balagtas tayo! Hindi tayo pinalaki ng Sexbomb Girls para bumawi sa laban ng buhay! Lalaban tayo!!!" dagdag pa ni Charity.

Then, we all laughed in unison.

"Uy, seryoso, thank you for being here, mga beh, ha. For being my saviors. You both are the best cousins in the world. My first best friends! Firsties forever!"

Then, we hugged tightly. It has been a long time ago since someone hugged me like this . . .

"Super hug para sa mahal kong si Ricky!" Biglang pumasok sa aking isipin ang mga eksena noong kapiling ko pa si Albert.

"Aww, ang sweet talaga ng mahal kong si Albert." Nakahiga ang aking ulo sa kaniyang dibdib at ine-enjoy ang bawat segundo ng huli na pala naming yakap.

"Mag-iingat ka rito, ha. 2 weeks akong mawawala para sa business travel namin sa Laguna."

Albert Lumontad and I met online. He both got thick brows and plump lips. He was wearing eyeglasses for his blurry visions while I got chinky eyes. He had a sexy scruff which I couldn't grow on my own face. Contrast to mine, he had a dark complexion which I super loved. He had a fairly chunky figure while I was a little taller and bigger than him.

Right after graduation, Albert decided to leave their province and work here in Manila. He left his family in Pangasinan to find greener pastures here in the city. Ako naman, pumanaw na ang papa ko 5 years ago and after 2 years of mourning and grief, my mom decided that we live in the USA with my aunties there, but I told her that I would like to continue living in Manila. We sold our house and used the money for my mother's migration to the USA. I was very happy for her, she needed this change, she needed to heal.

While Albert and I rented a small apartment in Santa Mesa and we lived together for more than a year now. Sanay naman akong mag-isa lagi rito sa apartment namin lalo na noong nag-umpisang ma-promote si Albert sa trabaho niya. He was always out for business meetings, travels, and all sorts of stuff. Madalas nga ay tuwing weekends lang umuuwi si Albert sa bahay.

Ako naman, I was always at home because of my job. Isa akong manunulat sa isang sikat na publishing house rito sa Pilipinas, ang JBL Publishing Inc. I got five published books and became really close with my author-friends—Abelardo Barretto, Ronnie Viray, and Randy Pambid—not their pen names.

Isang linggo ang lumipas at tinamaan ako ng matinding sa sakit. I was in my bed, covered in thick blanket, shivering. I had a cough, body ache, and high fever. Tinawagan ko na si Albert at sinabihan lang akong uminom ng gamot at magpagaling. Kauuwi niya lang daw sa business trip nila pero madami pa raw siyang gagawing paper works sa opisina.

"Bakit hindi ka man lang puntahan ni Albert?" sambit ni Randy sa kabilang linya. He called me because he was very worried kasi ilang araw na akong may sakit.

"Hindi ko nga alam sa lalaking 'yon! Naiinis ako sa totoo lang, akala mo walang dyowa kung umarte, eh," I replied as I fixed the damp towel on my forehead and lifted the blanket up for more coverage.

"Kung malapit lang ako sa bahay niyo, binisita ka na namin nina Abe at Ronnie. But I live in the province and the best thing I could do is to give you comforting words and prayers. I wish you well, Bro."

"Thanks, Bro. You are such a nice friend, Randy."

"I will do everything para sa taong importante sa akin."

We ended the call and our conversation made me realize things. I looked inside me and thought, 'If this guy couldn't even be here when I'm sick, paano pa kapag nasa ospital na ako?' Hindi ko deserve tratuhing ganito. Mahal ko siya pero kung mahal niya talaga ako, he should've been here. Mas mahal niya pa ang trabaho niya kaysa sa akin. Wala pang dalawang oras ang biyahe simula sa office nila papunta sa bahay. Kahit limang minuto lang para i-check kung buhay pa ba ako. Bakit hindi niya magawa?

Kaya noong araw na 'yon, November 21, I sent him a message, "Kung importante ako sa 'yo, you'll choose me over your job. I'm not asking for your 24 hours, just a few moments with you. Tingnan mo lang kung okay ako, kumustahin ang kalagayan ko. Pero parang wala ka namang paki. Gusto mo ba nasa kabaong na ako bago ka pa bumisita? Isang taon na tayo tapos ngayon ka pa nagkaganito. I don't deserve this. You don't deserve me, Albert. I'm breaking up with you." Sabay bagsak ng luha sa aking mga mata. Ako'y tuliro.

After an hour, he called. He was crying, but it was a shock to me because he just agreed with my decision. Hindi siya gano'n. Matagal na akong nagyayaya ng hiwalayan at lagi siyang tumatanggi. Pero ngayon, bigla-bigla na lang siyang um-oo. I kept crying my eyes out as I hugged myself tightly . . .

Now back to reality, magkayakap pa rin kaming magpipinsan . . .

#1: Check out the mysterious guy on the dance floor. (Go to Episode 21)

#2: Go to the convenience store with Dio and Charity. (Go to Episode 13)

#3: Visit and see the ex. (Go to Episode 24)