Your Shadow

Chapter 15 : Notes

What's more painful?

Loosing the argument or loosing the person from it?

Whenever Tiff and I would get mad at each other when we were young, we both find our ways to make it all better. 

I guess we like each other more, than some dumb arguments. 

But right now I can't lose both. 

I can't lose Anderson nor the fact that I'm arguing myself that I should've been there. 

All these things are cramping at my mind and I have nowhere to go. What I most feared of is that I didn't even know what happened. I just ran so fast with my phone in my hand. Then I realized I was standing in front of the hospital. 

My heart was thumping so fast. Should I go in now? What should I say? 
I was about to face the Anderson that I'm not used to. I was hell scared. 

I calmed down a bit and finally enter the building. 

I immediately went to the information desk and ask,

"Hi, I'm here for Kyle Anderson? They said he was admitted here?" I was breathing so heavily due to the fact that I ran. I was all sweaty that the other nurse gave me a tissue to wipe it off. 

"Oh yes ma'am. He's at room 305. He just came from the emergency room.." Before she can even finish her sentence I ran up, forgetting to ride an elevator and went straight to the 3rd. floor. 

I was standing in front of the door 305. 

I looked at my hands and they were shaking. I tried to calm down because I don't want him to see me all nervous and that. I opened the door and saw Anderson lying in the bed. His parents were there and a doctor too. They were all looking at me. 

"Ahmm Hello.. I'm--" 

"Allie!" Kyle shouted. 

His parents went out with the doctor leaving me inside the room with Anderson.

"What happened?" I asked. 

He looked fine except he had bandages all over his face. I'm trying to pull myself together, but seeing him here with needle in his hand and machines. I was reminded that he really is sick. 

"Kinda embarrassing. I was walking down the bus station when suddenly I lose my balance and just fall with my face on the floor. I was knocked out until I got into the emergency room and they were all stitching my face and everything." He was smiling and laughing telling me a horrible story. I was mad. 

"I could've been there." I whispered. 

"Al. Don't be like that. This is no one's fault. It's the nature of my body. It was always bound to be like this." He said after he looked at the window pane. 

"How could you say that so easily?" I was angry. I was upset. Are these the right emotions right now? I wonder. 

"Sorry.. I didn't mean it that way. I just don't want you to worry too much. I'm here. I'm still alive." He then pinched my face. 

I sighed and was quiet for a minute. 

"Is that the same clothes? Haha" He asked while laughing so hard trying to look at my clothes. 

"I really didn't have much time to change when I got the call." I was looking embarrassed but at the same time I was suddenly feeling okay again. 

"Hey Al come here." He said. 

I moved an inch in the chair I'm sitting at. 

"Closer." He said.