epilogue|| DAOMINGSI and SHANCAI

3 - observations

Lei had felt an inexplicable happiness in his stomach the moment Shancai opened the door for them. It was a feeling—a succinct warmth —that he could only associate with the F4, and his Shancai.

Meizuo and Ximen are right. It looks like Shancai has grown even more beautiful in these latter years. Although she's for sure older (as shown by the crows-feet at the corners of her eyes, and the slight aging of her skin), her irises shine brighter and her laughter is more melodic than ever. She's the same height, the same smallness, that Lei remembers. She is still chattery and witty like their old days. And she's still thin. Her black hair that was once long is now cropped short by a foot; perhaps she just wanted a change-up; now, her hair falls just over her shoulders, until the point where it is abruptly cut off. But overlooking everything—all the physical and emotional changes about her—she's still the same Dong Shancai. The Shancai who sits with him on the roof of Yingde University. The Shancai who finds him in the middle of the night, on the beaches of Okinawa. The Shancai who hugs him when he needs it, and yells at him when he needs it, and cries into his shoulder when she must..... yes. That Shancai.

When Lei finally tears his attention away from Shancai, he realises that Ah Si hasn't changed so much either. He's still tall; he's still got the build. His hair is now long enough that he ties it into a low bun/ponytail sometimes, which, honestly, Lei thinks rather suits him. He's older too. His hands seem rougher, from the different career paths he's been pursuing that actually require physical work. He's got more stubble along his jaw, like he doesn't pay so much attention to shaving anymore. He seems.... more mature. Not necessarily in his way of speaking—because in regard of that, he is as childish as ever—but in the way he feels. When you stand next to him, it's almost as if you can feel the weight of his experiences, his hardships, his burdens. But then Shancai comes into the picture... all she has to do is stand next to him, and his mood shifts. All you have to do is fix a little Xiao He in his arms, and he's almost exactly like the Daoming Si everyone remembers.

Meizuo and Ximen—who have been with Lei since they all landed helicopters together on this side of Taiwan—also look older. To be honest, the three of them should be seeing a lot more of each other in their daily lives, since they all live in the heart of Taipei. But they can't. It's hard... Lei isn't sure about the other two, but his work keeps him up. And even after working hours, when he's supposed to not be working, he has business dinners to attend (scheduled by his parents) in order to curry favour with other parties. Dinners, get-togethers, outings... he can't get more than 11 hours of sleep in a day, now. Which is quite annoying. So—considering how busy he has been—Lei was very excited to hear from Ah Si and Shancai, an invitation that all of F4 be there for Xiao He's 3rd birthday. Lei is almost positive it was all Shancai's idea.

Meizuo, who, in their young days, was so cool and easy-going, feels more down-to-earth now. But only slightly. Somewhat like Ah Si, Lei can feel the weight of Meizuo's work on him (although the working experience is nothing like Ah Si's). Meizuo puts his hair up too, like Ah Si—but higher. He has faint wrinkles at his eyes, but still smiles like a prince. Ximen had a similarly carefree personality, which was what made them so compatible in the first place; now, older, Ximen is still much more mature than Meizuo. Ximen was always the smartest out of the F4. And, definitely, the most hardworking. There was always an air of confidence about him—that's what made him so attractive—but now, it's even more pronounced. The words that seem to come to Lei's mind when he looks at Ximen now is the real deal. Ximen has lines on his forehead, but it doesn't show when he laughs. He and Meizuo used to joke all the time, making fun of Ah Si about 101 things. Lei was the one who smiled quietly, watching/listening to their banter.

Lei has missed his friends and their fun days. The F4. Shancai.

All of that... it's part of a different time now. It's kept safe in a compartment of Lei's mind, where he will constantly go back to look at, but he can never touch. It's the most precious part of his memories...

And it will never go away.