today
i decided that
i should be
honest
with you
so i told you
that i'm so happy
that your father
had called the
cops on mine
i told you
how much i
hated him
i told you
that after
my mother had
passed away
my father
started to
hurt me
and ruin
himself
as a person
i told you how
my little siblings
had never made it
my mom was
supposed to have
twins
but she had passed
away during the
delivery
which had caused
the babies to never
make it
i told you
that
my father
became an alcoholic
ever since he
got fired
from his job
he was too
hurt
to pay the bills
he never got
hired from
another company
after that
well
at least after
he got into
jail
i told you everything
i told you everything
i would tell no one
else
i even told you
what broke me
the most
that my father
said
he would kill me
if i disobeyed him
with zero regrets
i had mentioned
that my grades
went down
ever since my
mother's passing
i gave up on
everything
i gave up on
finding someone
even though there
were still many girls
back then
who would want me
i always rejected
them
why would i
love someone else
before loving me?
i wondered
the hypocrisy
really showed
but i was too
dumb to realize
that back then
so sometime
later
i wondered
why would anyone
want an embarrassing
person like me?
but you
you
you you you
you're everything
everything i would
want
but
why would a guy
like me
get someone like you?
i removed those
thoughts from
my head
pushing them far
back into
my brain
and i continued
telling you
my story
and how thankful
i am
i had told you
how happy i was
that you are
here
with me
listening to everything
i'm telling you
everything i wouldn't
be able to let out
to anyone else
i told you
that i don't want
you to go anywhere
so please stay with
me
i mouth to
myself
lucky you didn't
see or hear
YOU ARE READING
fatigued ༄ bang chan ✔️
Fanfiction"just tired" i muttered but you could tell it was not just a lack of sleep but a lack of hope and happiness that made me act the way i did chan's part of the "dark circles" piece. TW for self harm, suicide, fear, abuse
