today
i decided that
i should be
honestwith you
so i told you
that i'm so happy
that your father
had called the
cops on minei told you
how much i
hated himi told you
that after
my mother had
passed awaymy father
started to
hurt meand ruin
himselfas a person
i told you how
my little siblings
had never made itmy mom was
supposed to have
twinsbut she had passed
away during the
deliverywhich had caused
the babies to never
make iti told you
that
my father
became an alcoholicever since he
got fired
from his jobhe was too
hurtto pay the bills
he never got
hired from
another company
after thatwell
at least after
he got into
jaili told you everything
i told you everything
i would tell no one
elsei even told you
what broke me
the mostthat my father
said
he would kill me
if i disobeyed himwith zero regrets
i had mentioned
that my grades
went down
ever since my
mother's passingi gave up on
everything
i gave up on
finding someoneeven though there
were still many girls
back thenwho would want me
i always rejected
themwhy would i
love someone elsebefore loving me?
i wondered
the hypocrisy
really showedbut i was too
dumb to realize
that back thenso sometime
lateri wondered
why would anyone
want an embarrassing
person like me?but you
you
you you you
you're everything
everything i would
wantbut
why would a guy
like meget someone like you?
i removed those
thoughts from
my headpushing them far
back into
my brainand i continued
telling you
my storyand how thankful
i ami had told you
how happy i was
that you are
herewith me
listening to everything
i'm telling youeverything i wouldn't
be able to let outto anyone else
i told you
that i don't want
you to go anywhereso please stay with
mei mouth to
myselflucky you didn't
see or hear

YOU ARE READING
fatigued ༄ bang chan ✔️
Fanfiction"just tired" i muttered but you could tell it was not just a lack of sleep but a lack of hope and happiness that made me act the way i did chan's part of the "dark circles" piece. TW for self harm, suicide, fear, abuse