I speak in Silence

4

February 11, 2018

I didn't sleep well that night. I felt restless, this new place was scary, the bed was uncomfortable and I was not great at my job. I almost killed my patient on the first day! I'm a failure, I screwed up, just as I always had. I wanted to run back to Austin, maybe he would take me back. Being independent was rough, living without a strong man to watch me, guide me, it was hard. I needed someone, I needed a man in my life.

I went to the grocery store to purchase a few things. Ennay wrote a grocery list for me, which I was to follow through.

Cilantro

Paprika

Canned corn

Bread

Onions

Butter

The grocery store was nothing like what I was used to. For one, half the store was outside, flies swarmed around all the fruits and vegetables, making them suddenly a lot less appetizing. The dairy and sodas were refrigerated in antiquated iceboxes. As I searched through the bizarre "grocery store" something—or rather—someone caught my eye. His glistening brown eyes met mine, and his pearly whites melted my heart.

"Hi"

"H-hey" I'm such an idiot.

"You must be new."

Am I really the only white person in this entire town? "Yeah, I-I'm not from here." No dip, Sherlock.

"Well, maybe I can show you around sometime?" His hand met mine as he winked at me. "Joseph's the name. Meet me at my place for a 'tour'." Joseph then  gave me a piece of paper with what I assume was his phone number, and swaggered away. He's nothing like any of the other men I've ever liked, apart from his appearance, I was typically attracted to the smart, rich, cute guy, which seemed to be the complete opposite of him. Joseph was a handsome, confident, man, what he lacked in wealth he seemed to make up for in pride and dignity, but there was just something so attractive about it, something so intriguing. I wanted it.

I returned to Ennay's little house and dropped off her groceries and leftover change. I opened the door to see Ennay painting something, something different now. It was of great detail, filled with cosmos of stars and planets with great, large waves. A stencil of what seemed to be a person in front of it was barely visible.

Just then, a cat crept through the patio door. It was all black, with light green eyes and a chunk of its ear missing. I felt a light tap on my shoulder to see that it was none other than Ennay. That's my cat, Van Gogh, She signed, people think that he is taboo, much like me. I think that is why we get along so well. Ennay looked up dreamily, as though she were consulting someone about her next few words. God gave us each other. Van Gogh brushed against my leg and walked back into the house. I had seen a lot of cat videos, but no relationship between a human being and a cat has touched my heart as much as this.

Ennay directed me into the kitchen and laid out an abundance of ingredients. She did not necessarily translate this into American Sign Language, but she pointed a pan towards me, and then pointed toward the food and looked at me, basically saying, I'm going to teach you how to actually cook today. I took a slight bit of offense to the unspoken statement, but complied to her cooking lesson anyway.

Tears welled my eyes as I chopped onions, and I could not tell if it was from the smell or the small cut on my finger. Ennay then pulled out a bag of off-brand macaroni and some cheap blocks of cheese. "If we're only making macaroni and cheese... what do we need the onions for?" I asked. Ennay then facepalmed and signed to me we're going to make real macaroni and cheese today. Ennay set the water to a boil and helped me prepare the meal. It was nice having Ennay, although I was her caretaker, she was, ironically, like the mother I'd never had. My mother had always been busy at work, too busy to teach me how to cook, how to sew, she never really taught me anything. The only thing she had ever taught me was laundry, and that was just to save her time. It was nice, having an elder to guide me as I helped them, a symbiosis if you will.