100 sleepless nights

➳15

i just wanted you to know that 

i'm deeply sorry for all the pain 

i've caused you over the years. 

i'm sick and i don't want to 

make that as my excuse but

it does explain parts of me 

that no one understood. 

i'm going to get better though 

one day i might have a life, 

one that is exciting and 

has purpose, goals and 

happiness. 

my brain is messed up 

i think you always knew

but not to the extent that

i once knew 

it's hard to get my words out

writing doesn't come easy anymore 

i just wanted you to know 

i'm still here (somehow) 

and i'm hoping for a better life 

if i'm lucky enough i might 

just get another chance 

but it depends highly on 

my brain and my behaviour 

i want to thank you for 

being here, every step of the 

way. through the hardest parts 

of my life, i couldn't have done it

without you. 

you think that you haven't spoken 

to me in a long time but that's far 

from true.  you're in my spirit, my 

soul and my shoe. 

oh how i really do, really do, 

love you. 

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