The Way You See Me

Chapter Six

We watched Bolt, my favorite movie. I ended up falling asleep at some point I guess, because I woke up lying on Dom's chest. 

Smiling just a little, I look up at him. He looked different when he was asleep. His face seemed...calmer. More relaxed. Tranquil. I guess everyone looks more at peace while we sleep. Our brain is resting; we don't have to worry, there's no fear, or anger, or even happiness while we sleep. We just are. 

I sigh softly as I slowly move off his chest, and my feet meet the ground as I slip off the couch. I peek back at him, he's still sound asleep. I find myself smiling again. 

Max perks up from where he had been lying on the floor right beside the couch. I was surprised he was okay with Dom having been so close to me. 

I pat his head and walk into the kitchen. The clock reads 9:38. Geez. I'm usually awake by 7 or 8, this is new for me. I stretch and yawn a bit. 

Walking over to the cabinets, I open a bottom one and pull out a pan. I set it on the stove, turn the nob until it's heating the surface to medium. 

When I turn to the fridge, I jump and I swear my heart leaps out of my chest as I gasp. Dom frowns slightly, immediately apologizing. I shake my head.

"No, you're fine. You just scared me a bit," I say, and sigh, calming myself back down as I move past him and open the fridge, grabbing butter and eggs- the same meal I had had last night. I love eggs.

He leans against the counter beside the stove. I begin making breakfast. We're both quiet for a while. I start thinking- I do that a lot when it's silent. I think that's why I love music so much. I can just drown out my thoughts with the sound of someone else's that they've turned into a song. 

Right now though, I'm not listening to music, so instead, I'm thinking. This usually only gets me to a lower place, because I doubt a lot of things. I also have a bad tendency to overthink. 

Like how I'm overthinking this whole Dom-still-being-here-thing. I should've stuck to my gut last night. I shouldn't have even texted him to come back. Now, he's still here. He stayed over-night. I'm not supposed to have guys over, let alone them spend the night. If Nick found out, he'd kill me. 

God why am I all over the place. Last night I wanted him here, so bad. And now he is, but I want him gone.

If I'm being honest, I know it's because I'm scared. I'm scared to let anyone in. I'm scared to trust him, because I'm trying to save myself from the hurt that always comes.

Yes, last night was fun. It was a nice break from reality. But that's all it was. A pause until my life is back to the way it was. Just me. Well, me and Max, of course. I don't want to lead Dom on, which is why I ask him to leave.

"I can't even have the eggs you promised me last night?" He says. For some reason, I hate the humor in his voice. We aren't close. He shouldn't be joking around when I just basically kicked him out.

"Sorry. I'm really busy today, have a lot going on." I reply, not looking up from the food that was frying in the pan. I didn't want him to get any ideas. We wouldn't be a thing. I couldn't let him in my life. "I'd really appreciate it if you left," I repeat.

He sighs, throwing his hands up a bit. "I really don't understand you, princess." He pauses. "But alright, I'll go, per your request. See you around." He states. I'm almost surprised by how fast he complied. I expected him to argue. It's better for both of us that he didn't. 

I nod, deciding I didn't need to shut him down on his last statement. I still don't look at him as he sighs again, and walks out of the kitchen, out to the foyer. There's a pause before I hear the door open, and I almost think he was going to come back. He doesn't. 

After taking the eggs out of the pan, I walk over to the kitchen window and watch him leave. That's when I start to cry. I lean forward with my elbows on the kitchen counter and bury my face in my hands. Tears slide down my cheeks, slipping between the cracks in my fingers.

For no reason really. I just wish I could live a normal life. Yeah, sure. I'm the one pushing Dom away. But what's the point of letting us get close if all that will happen in the end is one- or both of us- getting hurt? He'll never be able to get close to me. No one has been for some time now. I'm better off alone. He just needs to accept that.

I can't help but feel guilty. I used him, basically. I used him to feel wanted. To feel...I don't know. Not lonely, I guess. But that's what my life is. Lonely. 

I regain my composure after mentally telling myself to get over it. Nothing would change for me. Why would it? If I could change the way things were, I would've been eating breakfast with Dom right now, not setting the bowl of eggs on the floor for Max, instead, because I'd lost my appetite. 

I go into the living room, and my phone lights up with a text. I lift it so that the screen will unlock and let me read the message. 

I don't know you, Calleigha. I have no idea what you've been through- or what you're going through now. But know I'll always be here. I want to know everything about you. I want you to open up to me. I know it could take forever, but that's okay. All I'll say is even if you push me away, I'll find a way in. I've never felt this way about someone so soon, so this is new for me, too. 

I sigh and toss my phone to the other end of the couch. I couldn't deal with him right now. He doesn't get it. That's okay though. I've done this before. A guy thinks he can change me, that I'll tell him my life story and let him in, but then he'll get tired of waiting, and leave. I've started to doubt that any guy will ever be patient enough. I don't even know what he'd be waiting for. I have to fix some things with myself before I can worry about other people.

But in the back of my mind, I couldn't help that think that Dom is different. He's not like any other guy I've met. That doesn't change anything for me. I'm not going to be that girl who falls in love with the first guy who's "different" because, in the beginning, they all seem good and perfect; not like the rest. It's once you get to know them, and they get to know you. That's when you'll realize they're all the same. 

My phone rings and my thoughts are shattered by the sound. I don't get it. Instead, I throw a pillow over it. I was sure it was Dominic, but I didn't feel like checking. I didn't even want to see his name right now. I wanted to get him out of my head.

When the phone rings a second time, I'm just annoyed. I groan a bit, reaching over and grabbing it, prepared to shut it off when I notice it's not Dom's name that's across the screen. I bite my lip and click the green button to answer. 

Before I would have even had the chance to speak, Nick's voice shouts through the phone, and I wince. "What the fuck are you doing? Why didn't you answer my first call, Cal?" He questions and I sit up a bit.

"I didn't hear it ringing," I lie, my voice quiet. What a perfect way to snap me back to reality. "I'm sorry," I say, and my brain is racing with what he could've called for. 

"Whatever. Don't fucking do it again. Or else." He says, and with that, the phone clicks and he hangs up. 

I sigh, leaning my elbows on my knees and holding my face in my hands. He didn't even have a reason to call- except to be an asshole. Anything that goes wrong in his day, anything that angers him, the anger gets taken out on me. No matter what. I'm his scapegoat. Everything is my fault. I was almost used to it now.

I lie on my side on the couch, my hands folded beneath my cheek. Max climbs up beside me, and lies at my feet, looking at me, ears perked up. I haven't even let him outside yet this morning. Fuck. 

I get back up and open the sliding door at the back of the house, letting Max run out and play around the yard. Smiling briefly, I shut the door while he's occupied with a stick beneath one of the large trees in the fenced-in yard. When I turn around, I'm scared shitless- for the second time this morning. 

This time, I'm not granted an apology. That's mostly because I'm the one apologizing. 

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Chapter six finally done :) Sorry it took me a while, lol. Don't forget to comment and vote <3