bellamy blake imagines

save those that can be saved • a continuation

summary: raven brings up y/n's death when bellamy is watching her

time frame: season 3
*a continuation of 'save those that can be saved' where reader died in mount weather

a/n: 'save those that can be saved' is one of the chapters that i am most proud of and rlly just loved writing, as i was rewatching season three i realized i could add onto it! enjoy!

word count: 1100

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previously:
'i really loved her' bellamy croaked, placing a hand to y/n's face, wiping her cheek as he remembered all the great memories they had shared. crying, with realization that they would never be able to make any new memories again. 'i'll always love her.' bellamy concluded as raven looked at him with sorrow, knowing that her best friends death had just broken the boy before her.

bellamys pov

'just you and me, huh?' raven said with a devilish look in her eyes, getting comfortable in my seat i told myself to remain calm as i knew raven was about to taunt my darkest fears and regrets under the influence of ALIE.

'oh come on bellamy,' she said, head titling to the side. i could only imagine the uncomfortable position she was in as she was tied up. oh wait, she doesn't feel pain. 'haven't we?'

i grimace slightly as the memory of our past relationship, if you could even call it that, and how it had made y/n so upset. we weren't dating yet, but we definitely had a spark between us. walking in on me and raven, her bestfriend, made her break down and i still haven't forgiven myself for it. well, i haven't forgiven myself for a lot of things yet. my facade must have softened as i thought of y/n because ravens demeanour had also changed.

'it's okay,' she sighed, looking at our surroundings, 'we don't have to talk about it, there's not really much to talk about anyway...but i do have one question.'

her tone of voice had changed into a threatening one, one full with venom that i knew was going to start bringing up my darkest secrets and fears. mentally, i braved myself.

'does it bother you that you don't get any credit for the genocide at mount weather?' at the mention of mount weather i couldn't face her anymore, the thought of y/n's death still fresh in my mind. 'clarke gets to be the commander of death, but you murdered all those people too, and you're just forgotten.'

'sometimes i wonder how much you really loved y/n,' she trails off, eyes now searching mine as if looking for a spark of anger that she had lit in me by mentioning her name. 'when maya died, jasper went on a downhill spiral, but you? you found yourself another girlfriend.'

i felt my body grow tense at the mention of my rebound, gina.

'what do you think y/n would think of her?' she asked, happy that she could sense my uncomfortableness 'i think she'd like her, she was my bestfriend after all.'

'raven,' i said calmly, however my mind was screaming in desperation for her to stop bringing up y/n 'this isn't you, you can fight this.'

'it's funny, really bellamy,' she went on, satisfaction filling her features as she had known she had made me angry 'everyone that gets close to you, dies. and it's funny because you're the one that kills them.'

my body was now fully tense as she had reached a topic i never wanted to talk about. to anyone.

'first y/n, then gina, oh wait, we forgot about how you killed your own mother.' raven said with a wicked smile, my fists clenching at my sides and trying with all my determination not to hit her. 'you just had to take little sister to her first dance. you might have as well shoved aurora to the airlock yourself. do you think she'd be proud of you now?'

i felt the urge to knock her unconscious stronger than ever before, she was bringing to light all of my worst demons, making me face them in broad daylight.

'with the kind of leader you've become? or would she see the truth, like the rest of us do.' her eyes narrowed, as if getting ready to say the words she knew would hurt me the most 'that you're a follower. clarke's only been back for one day and you've already taken to her. the good little knight by the queens side. too bad you were never that devoted to gina, or y/n.'

'she was my best friend bellamy,' she said with almost enough emotion to make me believe she wasn't chipped anymore 'she told me how she wanted to spend the rest of her life with you. she wanted a family with you, you know? she always told me you'd be a great father, but i don't think so. you'd just end up killing them too.'

running a hand through my hair i held back the tears forming in my eyes as i remembered all the late night talks i had spent with y/n thinking up names for our children and all the times i had told her i couldn't wait to spend the rest of our lives together.

'you don't know what you're talking about.' is all i could muster in response as i knew if i allowed myself to say anymore, i would explode.

'don't worry, y/n wouldn't want kids with you now anyway,' she spoke, hitting me the deepest out of all her words 'she wouldn't even recognize the person you've become. picking up a gun and slaughtering the army that was sent to protect you? she would be ashamed.'

at the mention of the massacre i knew niylah would be here soon, so i drowned out the rest of ravens words, preparing to be faced with her wrath. after all, i deserved it.

the person i had become was someone i didn't recognize, looking in the mirror i see someone broken and hurt, taking to violence to try and avenge those he had lost. my mother wouldn't be proud of me, she had raised me better than this. y/n wouldn't be proud of me either, everything i had done had disrespected her wishes but it was the only thing i could do to forget about everyone i had loved and lost. truth is, without y/n i don't know what to do and everyday i wish i had died in mount weather with her.