Authors note: This chapter is a back story. I will summarize her high school life in this chapter because I'm focusing my story to her college life. Wait for more character na lalabas because the true story will began in next chapter. I love u all baby's!!!!
Happiness
It's been 2 years since I last saw Vern. Siguro nga hanggang doon na lang yon. Tanggap ko naman na pero syempre nakakalungkot pa din. Ganun nga talaga siguro yun no, there's a part in your heart that belongs to him. I accepted that. Vern will always have a special place in my heart.
Sobrang dami nangyari sa unang taon ko sa Klevin, I met a lot of friends and I'm happy because I have them. Lahat ng hardworks nagkakasama kami, sa pagrereview, sa pagkain, sa pag uwi. We do overnights, we enjoy each other's accompany,we shared a lot of experiences, give advices sa mga lovelife. We shared laughters and tears at the same time. I trusted them more than I trusted myself. Never in my life did I hesitate to help them. Pagnahihirapan sila sa quiz, I helped them. I shared my foods to them. I give everything I can offer for them to be happy because I was happy to be with them.
When we were in 12 grade na pressure ako magkalovelife, dahil halos lahat sila merong lovelife, so I try talking to someone, syempre pinili ko yung mga malalayong lugar, I install dating app. Sa una masaya but sa dulo I always end up saying "di sya katulad ni vern" that's when I realized that I'm not really over him, kasi hanggang ngayon umaasa pa talaga ko, na someday babalik sya, na someday I will be deserving to love him.
Grade 12 is also the time when I realized that Lim and I are being cold to each other. Siguro kasi we enjoy others accompany. We never talk about that, ramdam lang namin na may mali. I never talked about the issue kasi iniisip ko baka may problema lang sya, Lim is a jolly but secretive person, so I give her space to think.
I also lost my communication with jaze and ace. I'm frustrated those time because i got a grade of 75, and I can't make it to PNU. Gusto ko mag aral sa manila but destiny is not on me.
I was damn lonely that time but no one's there for me, even Lim is not there for me. Ayun yung time na I ask my self "bakit pag sila lagi akong nandyan." It's wrong I know. Kasi sa lahat ng gagawin natin hindi dapat tayo humihingi ng kapalit.
Grade 12 is the year I was hurt like hell. Thinks we're fine in the beginning of our friendship but as times goes by, character has been revealed.
I lost my friends.
I lost Lim.
Di ko alam na yung isang desisyon kong yon mawawala silang lahat, I lost them but I gained Dianna.
It was hard because I been with them for almost 2 years and with lim, I'm with her for almost 4 years. Never in my life did I imagined that I will lost her in one decision that I think was right.
I'm mad at them. For being selfish, for not hearing my side, for not believing in me.
But in the end I forgive them, I forgive even though I did not hear them apologize.
That year Vern also contacted me. We talked for about a month then nawala ulit. And I hate it, pinaasa nya ko sa mga sweet words nya then leave me hanging.
My heart is full of anger that year but Dianna never leave me. She's the one who made me realized that life is short so we should forgive them, Never depend our happiness to them.
Kahit malungkot yung year na yun, I was thankful because that's the year I found my trusted friend Dianna.
Sobrang saya ko sa kanya, I learn to be happy again because I have her. I forgot about Vern and move on because she always tell me na he's not worth it. I am more than enough.
Happiness is really a choice and I was thankful because someone made me realized na pwede tayong maging masaya in our own way. Di ko alam pero grabe yung pinagbago ko after kong makilala si Dianna. At ngayon masasabi ko na I'm truly happy with my life.
Di ko man nagustuhan lahat ng nangyari sakin but it made me stronger, it made me the best version of my self.
And I will always strive for the best.
