play family [harry styles] book 2

twelve

Harry

December 26th 2017

I had another dream. Which is really weird
because I haven't had one of these in a while...
Jordan was here, in our apartment. She took Josie
and left, but for some reason I couldn't move or speak. I was handcuffed to the bed just like that day and I couldn't help her.

I was reading bits and pieces of Amanda's journal, surprised at how I never knew she was going through all of this.

I knew she went to see a therapist a few years ago, but the thought of her struggling with this all by herself was disheartening.

Then I had to remember that she wasn't alone, she had Jack.

I skimmed through a few more pages, flipping quite a few at a time, seeing as there was so much writing.

April 10th 2018

Jack and I had another fight. I can't even remember what it was about this time. But I absolutely hate fighting with him, and I know he does too. I think we're both just stressed with school.

April 12th 2018

Another fight. This time it was about something we've been fighting about for years. I hate that I've made him feel insecure about our relationship because of Harry, but I keep telling him he has nothing to worry about.

They were fighting about me?

Amanda ended that entry on that sentence, seemingly abrupt, so I skipped some more pages, starting to get towards the end of the journal.

February 19th 2019

I don't know what to do. I feel torn. I haven't felt this way in so long but it's back. I hate this feeling. It makes me feel like I'm betraying Jack.
Is it possible to love two people at once? It has to be because there's no other way I can explain this feeling, and I hate it. I absolutely hate it. I know that I could never act on this because I love Jack SO much... I know I do, it's just that sometimes I get this weird feeling... and I think of Harry.

Wow.

I didn't even know what to say.

The writing stopped there; it looked like there was something else written under it but it was clearly erased, and that was the very last thing written in the book, but it made me wonder.

She asked if it was possible to love two people at once... and she was talking about me.

The date was from a little over a year ago, but still. That had to mean something.

I closed the journal shut, and looked beside me at Josie who was asleep in her bed.

I checked the time and noticed that it was close to midnight. I left Josie's room, closing the door behind me and went to put Amanda's journal with my stuff.

When I was done, the door to her bedroom opened and she emerged, somehow glowing in the midst of her sickness.

"Hey... how're you feeling?" I asked her and she shrugged, wrapping her arms around her small body.

"Surprisingly better," she answered. "But now that I've slept all day, I'm not really tired." She told me, taking a seat on the couch. "What time is it?"

"11:52."

"Fuck, I really have slept all day," she sighed, and then looked at her phone. "Jack's probably asleep now, so I can't call him."

"Do you... uh wanna do something?" I asked, and she looked at me.

"What did you have in mind?"

I had plenty of things in mind, but I doubt we were going to be on the same page.

"What is that movie you're so obsessed with... god knows why?" I joked, and I could see a smile begin to creep on her face.

"Children of the Corn." We both said in unison and she laughed.

"You know, I actually haven't watched it in years." She admitted.

"Well I think now is the perfect time to bring it back, don't you think?" I said, turning on the TV.

"I agree one hundred percent." She laughed, giving me a warm smile that made me want to grab her and kiss here right here.

But I couldn't.

So I turned on the TV, and started to play the movie, as Amanda squealed beside me.

"Why do you like this so much?" I exasperated, and she turned towards the screen.

"Because it scares me."

"You're fucking weird." I laughed, and she leaned over and punched my arm.

"You're fucking weird, Mr. I don't like oatmeal." She teased, and I couldn't help but burst out into laughter.

"Not liking oatmeal is normal! Lots of people don't like oatmeal," I told her and she crossed her arms over her chest.

"Well I like it."

"Well you're not like other people," I told her, as she turned to the TV and laughed.

I watched as she turned back to me, and took a deep breath. "Thank you for taking care of me, Harry." She whispered. "You really didn't have to do that and-"

"I wanted to." I told her and she grinned, as I punched her arm back, jokingly. "God, you're fucking freezing." I gasped, feeling her skin and noticing the goosebumps on her arms.

"Yeah, I guess it is a bit chilly in here." She sighed, and I pulled her to me, wrapping my arms around her cold shoulders.

She hesitated at first, but then relaxed in my arms, and started to yawn.

Don't over think this, it's nothing...

"Hey," I breathed, noticing her eyes beginning to close. "I thought you weren't tired?" I asked, her and she just laughed softly.

"I'm full of surprises, Harry." She yawned again, resting her head on my chest.

I watched as she started to drift off into sleep and I was afraid to move. Not only because I didn't want to wake her, but mostly because I didn't want this moment to end...

--

awwwwwww

-Mel