play family [harry styles] book 2

nineteen

Amanda

"Amanda," my therapist, Renee breathed. "Sit down. How are you?"

I came to see Renee after everything that happened a few years ago with Jordan, but I haven't seen her since.

I sat down on the sofa across from her chair, taking in the room. It felt weird to be here again, but I figured it might help.

"Um... I'm fine. I guess I could be better." I told her and she nodded.

"I'm so sorry about, Jack." She muttered, and I swallowed. "He was a such big part of your life..."

"Yeah... and I just keep beating myself up over the whole thing." I admitted, and she looked at me carefully.

"Why is that?"

"I just... we were arguing and I feel like, if none of that happened he would still be here." I mumbled, and she nodded.

"What were you arguing about?" She asked, but I could see it in her eyes that she already knew the answer.

"Harry."

"I see," she breathed, looking at me again. "You can't blame yourself for his death, Amanda. It's normal to grieve." She explained, and I looked down at my lap. "But I think a big reason why you're grieving so hard is because you feel guilty about something else."

"You feel guilty because you had feelings for Harry while you were still with Jack."

"No, I didn't." I said firmly, but she just continued on.

"The last time we spoke, you said it yourself. You expressed that you thought you might be in love with Harry-"

"No!" I exclaimed, "Jack and I must've been fighting or something... and I-I was just confused."

"Amanda," she spoke calmly, folding her hands in front of her. "If you can't be honest with yourself you'll never be able to move on."

"I don't want to move on!" I shouted, as she stared at me expectantly. "He was my very first love a-and I still love him," I choked, already feeling the tears coming.

"That may be true, but you have to be honest with yourself about Harry and address your feelings, remember?" She remarked, looking at me with serious eyes.

"I think that's enough for today." I sniffed, standing up and grabbing my bag.

"Amanda." She said sighing, "I know it's hard, but you can't keep running away from your feelings."

"Thanks Renee. But I have to go." I walked out of the door and didn't look back.

I guess I wasn't ready to talk about everything just yet.

I drove to pick up Josie from daycare, and when I got her she was all smiles.

"What're you smiling about, sweetie?" I asked her, as we pulled out of the parking lot.

"We ate cookies today!" She exclaimed, holding Mr. Wiggles and laughing.

"Oh, wow, did you save any for me?" I teased, and she shook her head, laughing in response.

I pulled into the parking lot of the supermarket, and unbuckled myself and Josie.

"Let's go pick up some groceries for dinner, kiddo." I spoke, grabbing onto her hand and leading her into the store.

It was surprisingly busy, which I guess made sense seeing as it was almost 3 pm.

I grabbed a cart, placing Josie in it, and made my way down to the pasta aisle. I grabbed a box of pasta, and looked around for everything else I needed.

"Do you want mac and cheese for dinner ?" I asked and she nodded. I needed to get cheese and milk for Josie since she loved to drink it.

As I rounded the corner to the next aisle, my cart bumped into someone.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry-" I apologized. When I looked up, I froze.

Jordan was standing in front of me, a small basket over her arm that was filled with groceries.

Jordan.

Her blonde hair was cut to her shoulders now, and
For a second I didn't know what to do.

Then the panic settled in and everything from years ago came flooding back to me, and I couldn't breathe.

"Amanda!" she called out to me, but I had already dropped my items and picked Josie up, rushing to the store exit.

Could this get any fucking worse?

First Patrick, and now her?

Once we got to the car, I let out a breath, still struggling to breathe.

"Mommy, what's wrong?" Josie asked from her car seat but I couldn't answer her.

I was definitely more terrified of Jordan than I was Patrick. I'd always know Patrick was fucked up, but Jordan... she pretended to be my friend.

The fact that she tried to take Josie away from me, and almost killed Harry... I had tried to forget all of that and now that I've seen her, it was all coming back...

-
Harry

I had just finished up some work at home when, Amanda and Josie got back.

Josie rushed up the stairs to her room with Mr. Wiggles, and I noticed that Amanda was leaning up against the kitchen counter as if she was trying to catch her balance.

I knew her, and I could tell that something was wrong. Her cheeks were red, and even though she wasn't crying, her eyes were watery and I knew what that meant.

She was scared.

"Amanda... are you okay?" I asked, and she shook her head, taking another deep breath. "What happened?"

I looked at her and she closed her eyes, tilting her head back.

"Jordan's back."

"What?"

"I-I saw her at the grocery store and I freaked." She explained, speaking quickly. "I just tried to forget about everything and now she's-"

"Breathe, Amanda." I told her, trying to calm her down because I could see that she was getting even more flustered; but I was also trying to calm myself at the same time.

I pulled her to me as she tried to regulate her breathing. "How could they not tell us she's out? I just..."

"I don't know." I sighed, holding her to me. "But, listen. She's not going to hurt you or Josie." I assured her, and she nodded slowly.

"I won't let her."

--

okay daddy😌

-Mel