New Life

Chapter 24

Nathaniel's POV

I smiled as I watched my baby, Quinn, sleep so peacefully. She really did look like her mom. I checked my phone and it was dead, when I heard a loud banging on my door. I saw Quinn stir a bit so I ran to get the door. I didn't know who this crazy psycho was but they definitely did not have any business banging on my door at five in the morning. I swung the door open only to be met with my Angel.

"Angel," I gasped.

"I would like my daughter back," she huffed. I knew that it was a serious moment but I couldn't help but chuckle. "Why? What's so funny?"

"It's just that you look so cute when you're mad," Nathaniel replied.

"Yeah, because that's so funny," she sarcastically said, "But do you know what isn't funny? You took my kid. And I'm here to take her back." That wiped the cheeky grin off my face.

"Well, she's sleeping right now so maybe I could drop her off later?" I asked.

"No," She answered.

"Please, I just wanted some time with my daughter," I said desperately, "Let me just have a little more time with her. If you don't feel comfortable with me dropping her off later, why don't you come in and wait until she wakes up? You can take her then." She furrowed her eyebrows weighing the options in her head.

"Fine," she finally agreed and pushed me out of her way to get in. I smiled a little in hopes that maybe I was finally getting through to her. Her eyes finally softened and brightened when she saw Quinn asleep on my bed. She placed a soft kiss on top of Quinn's head and walked out of the room. I followed her out closing the door carefully behind me. She sat down on the couch.

"You want something to drink?" I asked.

"No," she replied without even looking at me.

"Or something to eat? I think there might be something in the fridge. Or I could order something," I said to get her attention.

"I'm not here for your hospitality or to become friends or anything connected to you," she said with a coldness that made me want to cry, "I cannot even begin to say how infuriated I am. I told you that I did not want to deprive her of her dad but doing something like this behind my back makes me want to reconsider that. I don't know why you keep doing this to me!"

"Angel—" I said.

"No!" She said harshly, "just stop with that. Stop! You can't just throw me away then come back three years later acting as if I were the best thing to happen in your life. You just can't do that to me."

"Angel—Angelina, I am so sorry for what I have done to you in the past. I was too stupid and I was so blinded by my jealousy that I threw you away, but you are the best thing to have ever have happened in my life. I'm not doing this to confuse you or to hurt you. I really do love you, and I love Quinn so much. I've lost you before and that was all my fault, I'm not denying that. I don't expect you to have the same feeling towards me that you once did, but I really want to make things right," I grabbed her hand gently, and she didn't pull away, "Angel, please, I love you and I am so sorry. I would anything to take back all the pain I caused you. Please baby, just give me a chance to make everything right. Please. Please."My voice began to crack as tears flowed down my face. I kneeled in front of her and rested my forehead against her knee. "Baby, please. I know I don't deserve it, but give me a chance to prove how much I love you and Quinn."

"Nathaniel, I lost our baby," she said. I looked up at her. There were tears streaming down her face. "Quinn had a twin brother and I killed him. His name was Alex. He died because I tried to kill myself. When he died, I realized that he was depending on me to be his mother and I couldn't do that for him. When Quinn was born, she was the most beautiful thing to appear in my life, and that made me guilty even more. I was so blinded by my own pain that I destroyed something that would have been so beautiful. I couldn't protect our baby. There's so many things holding me back from you. Not just the pain you caused me, but the guilt and the hurt I've caused."

"I'm so sorry," I cried, "It's all my fault. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry baby."

"I just don't want to go through it again. I can't bring myself to trust that this relationship isn't going to turn into what we were before. There's just too much that I suffered through."

"I'm here to listen or to be your punching bag. Just please tell me everything that I have made you suffer through. Take it all out on me. Even if it's just a little bit, I want to make you feel better." I said.

"You hurt me. You've hurt me so much," she said. I pulled her into a tight hug. I felt that if I let go, she would vanish like all the dreams I had of her after she left. I didn't deserve this woman. I had put her through so much, I didn't deserve to ever have her back. I didn't deserve her love, but I couldn't bear the thought without her in my life. I had caused her so much pain. I wanted to take it all away. All of the wounds and tears she suffered through because of me, I wanted to take it all back.

"I am so sorry," was all I could say.

"Nathaniel, you have hurt me so much," she said. Her words were not full of hate or malice, just simply the truth, but it hurt me harder than any physical weapons could.

"I'm sorry." I replied. "I am so sorry Angel."

"I don't—can't trust you anymore," she cried, "How can I trust you? You've abandoned me and our babies before. How can I trust that you won't do it again? Please, Nathaniel, just stop playing with my emotions already and let me be. I'm not some kind of doll that you can play with when you feel like it and toss away when you're done. And I'm most definitely will not put my daughter through that."

"Angelina, I am not playing with your feelings and I am not toying with you or Quinn for my pleasure. Please, just give me a chance. I caused your life to be a living hell. I'm so sorry. But I've missed you every single day for the past three years. I don't want to lose you again. I hurt you and lost you because I was stupid. And here, I've found you again and I don't lose you without even trying to fix our relationship. Please, Angel, give me a chance to prove to you that you're the only one that I need. Please," I cried.

"I—I don't know," she replied, "Nathaniel, I'm scared to love you again—"

"Mommy?" Quinn trudged into the room rubbing her eyes, still half asleep. Angel quickly turned to wipe her tears and faced back to Quinn, and I did the same.

"Yes, baby?" Angel answered, "Did you wake up because mommy and daddy were too loud?" My heart skipped a beat when she said mommy and daddy. Quinn nodded and rested her head on Angel's lap. "Come on, baby, let's go home." Angel said. She lifted Quinn and grabbed her shoes and left without even looking back. I fell to my knees in front of the door. I'm scared too Angel. I thought to myself, I'm scared that I'll lose you again.