I Hate You, Please Don't Leave

How to kill yourself without hurting everyone

Niall POV

"I'm so sorry,"I whispered in Koko's ear.

"You're not a match?"I could hear evey ounce of pain in her voice.

"No."The tears fell as soon as I said it."I'm so sorry."

"No."She sobbed."NO!"

"Babe,"

"NO! THIS IS ALL MY FAULT! She tried letting me in but I didn't want her getting hurt...GOD IM A FUCKING IDIOT!"

I kissed her tears. I hated her blaming herself for this. Its not her fault.

"She lied to me. She lied to Aleks when she said never again."She whispered.

"It was her choice-"

"I was the thought."She said softly.

"What?"

"A gun gives the opportunity, but a thought pulls the trigger. She thought of what I said and took every last pill."

"Koko-"

"No, I set her off. Now she's gonna die. I'm a horrible friend." She started crying harder. I stroked her hair.

"Do you need a kiss?"I whispered.

She looked up at me and I kissed her gently.

"We're all trying to do everything we can for her. Some people aren't meant to be saved."

"B-but Bella..."She stared at the wall. No more tears.

"Koko,"She continued staring."Koko you're scaring me."

She shook her head and left my arms. My heart broke a little as I watched her walk away.

Louis POV

Don't you ever get sick of it?

Life. Existence.

Doesn't anyone?

Bella. Bella does.

Bella understands.

Liam POV

"What happened in your life?"I asked.

"Nothing. I just randomly decided to become an asshole."She said.

"I promise you I won't tell."I said.

"Its long."She lifted her cord that connected to her kidney. The liquid drained into the bag next to her.

"I don't care."I laid down next to her. Her scars buried deep into her arms. The cuts were muscle deep. I stared at her opened, infected cuts.

"Can you fucking stop?"She hid her arms.

"I'm sorry." I whispered.

"I just hate when people stare at my arms. I'm sorry for my hostility." She hid her head under the blanket.

"Are you tired?"I asked.

"No."She rolled over and hid herself. I opened up a corner and kissed her ear.

"You two are cute."Koko stood in the doorway and looked like she was plotting something.

" GO AWAY!"She screamed.

"Nope. I found a match."Koko grinned.

"Oh my god who?"In her excitement she pulled her tube out.

"Fucking aye!"The small bullet sized hole began bleeding.

"Don't bleed to death before you get it." She laughed."Makenna is giving hers to you." She pushed the emergency button and left before the doctors rushed her into surgery.

Aleks POV

"Don't you wish there was a way?"I asked and stared at the ceiling.

" A way to what?"Bella asked.

"Kill yourself without anyone else getting hurt."I felt tears coming. She'd only seen me cry twice. Other than that, I tried to stay strong around her.

"Aleks."She rolled over.

"I'm not going to. I would never do that to you,but I still wish sometimes that I could do it. The only thing holding me back is you. The same thing that used to hold you back."

"Have you ever tried to hang yourself?" She asked randomly.

"Yes. I was up on the chair, I had it kicked down, but I fell while I choked. It was right before I met you. I'm so happy I fell. I would've never met my best friend." I said softly. She smiled.

"There would've never been Mr. Mandler's wrinkly penis."She giggled.

"Dear god."I tried to get the image out of my head, but couldn't.

"I love you my disgustingly minded friend."I hugged her tight. She was getting worse. I drove home and broke. I thought of a world without her and my life being over at the phone call of her death. And I did it. The first time in almost a year.

I cut.

Makenna POV

"Have you seen Aleks lately?"I asked Koko.

"Yeah, but something happened. I can tell something's wrong with her."She said softly.

"What if....."I stopped. She promised a year ago that she'd stop.

"Its probably because of Bella's state now."Koko sounded sure, but the way she looked, I didn't know.

"The surgery is today. Maybe she's just worried."I said. It was a few hours left of me having two kidneys.

"I'll text her tonight."Koko said. I got in my car and drove to the hospital to see Bella. She was getting worse. Her skin was an orangish-yellow color and her eyes were bloodshot. I guess that tube wasn't doing much now. Aleks and Liam waved at me.

"Hey Kenna."Bella smiled weakly.

"I thought you were in the OR."I said.

"I did too."She closed her eyes and vomited a fountain of blood. Liam just stared. He looked so numb. Aleks pulled the emergency cord and they put me and her under.

Liam POV

I didn't cry, I didn't scream, I just watched. I watched my girlfriend die in front of me. Louis came in and waited the three hours with us. Finally, Bella came back. Her skin was pale and her lips were purple. I wrapped her in the blanket and kissed her.

"You guys are gonna be so cute."Kenna half walked, half fell in the room.

"What the hell Kenna, they told you to rest!"Koko almost yelled.

"Guess I'm healthier than they thought."She started to dance. I knew it was because of the anesthesia, but I couldn't help laughing.

"Louis and Kenna should have a twerk off."Koko grinned.

Louis got up and actually started twerking. I started to laugh because of how good he actually was.

"I wake up to Louis's ass in my face."Bella grinned at me.

"You look a hundred times better."I said.

"My fucking hip feels like its getting stabbed."She groaned.

"Would a kiss make it better?"I sat next to her and stroked her head.

"Let's leave the two lovebirds alone."Koko smiled at us. I already knew Kenna would watch us kiss, but I didn't care. I brushed my lips against hers. She smiled her daring smile. I kissed her again and climbed next to her.

"Kiss my kidney."She smiled that same smile. I had no idea what she was thinking about, but I did. She was so cold. I wrapped her in another blanket and saw Kenna sneaking in.

"I uh..um...left my phone."She smiled at Bella. I saw Koko drawing a heart with her fingers.

"I'll molest you all."Bella smiled at me again. Koko and Aleks sat in the door.

"I'll molest you when I get better."Bella smiled, and by the look on her face, I could tell she would.